One Last Breath
by Cloud-1-3-5 and Ame Emi Dai
Summary: Now that Serenity's gone, Jou's trying to fight on through his life. Not that he's the only person with problems... V. angsty, fluff coming in. Jou x Seto, Yugi x Yami, Ryou x Malik, Bakura x Malik. Yaoi, character death (complete)
1. One Last Breath

Hello everyone! ^_^ Well, this is my first Seto\Jou fic, my inspiration (and consequent love of Seto\Jou) coming from SSJ Sky! If you love S\J... go read!  
This fic is dedicated to EVERYONE who loves Seto\Jou angst and fluff! Enjoy, my darlings! ^_^  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Jou sat on the field. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so low… if ever. But even worse than feeling low, he felt very little else… despair, anger, hurt and mourning - they were all there, but there was just so *little* of them.  
  
"Can't I even grieve properly?"  
  
Exactly one month ago, Jou's world had fallen apart. Fallen, scattered to the end of the universe and locked away.  
  
"Serenity…" he whispered. No matter how much he wanted it to, not even saying her name could make him cry. "Why? Why can't I hurt for you? Why were you taken from me?"  
  
Jou grimaced, but still the tears wouldn't come.  
  
*~*~*Flashback*~*~*  
  
"Serenity!" Jou cried. "Watch out!"  
  
Serenity turned to her brother, to see what he meant - and couldn't avoid the oncoming car.  
  
Jou sank to his knees as Serenity was thrown up the road, her scream seeming to echo for an eternity. Jou saw the shape she took as she flew. He *heard* her skull hit the bonnet. He saw the angle her body was at when she came to a stop, thirty metres on. And he saw the bastard drive on without even slowing down.  
  
Jou shakily got to his feet. "No…" he whispered, running up the road as best his legs would let him. "Please God… if you're taking her, take her now… don't let her suffer, please…"  
  
As he got to his younger sister's side - 'Oh God, my baby sister!' - he was sure she was dead - that his prayer had been answered… but a small whimper soon told him otherwise.  
  
"No… Serenity…" he gasped. She couldn't be alive… her face… her arms… her back… surely no-one could survive that? He knelt down beside her, and as she rolled her dull jade eyes to look at him, and he saw the pain she was in, he felt all the strength his body had drain away.  
  
"Jou…" she whispered, tears in her eyes.  
  
It was all she said. She died as the ambulance arrived.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Sir, we found the man responsible for your sister's…" The policeman couldn't bring himself to say it, but it didn't matter to Jou. The policeman knew how hard Jou had taken it - had practically spent the entire time by his side - and Jou knew from the look on his face what was coming.  
  
"…Is he gonna go to jail?"  
  
The policeman shifted uncomfortably. "No… we… found him half a mile up the road… He'd crashed."  
  
Jou felt a bitter taste rise in his mouth. Justice had been snatched once, and he had only one faint hope of it left. "Did… did he suffer? Like Serenity did?" Jou looked up to the policeman, his eyes wide, demanding an answer.  
  
The policeman shuffled again, and took a deep, calming breath. "No… he was heavily intoxicated… and we believe he died on impact."  
  
This was the final blow for Jou. "So he got away scott-free…" That was all Jou could take. It was then that his world finally cracked.  
  
*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*  
  
"If I hadn't called her… she might have survived… she'd have carried on running across that road. She might not even have been hit… Why did I do that? Why couldn't I protect her? What kind of brother am I?!" Jou screwed his face up, but still couldn't cry. "DAMN IT!" He yelled. "…I want to see you again sis… I need to… I can't live without you."  
  
Jou stood up and - almost mechanically - began walking to the cliff's edge. As he went, he began quietly singing a song - the only song he'd listened to since that day. His voice didn't shake, as he half-expected, but there was a definite coarseness about it. He didn't even care about singing well, instead trusting the song to maybe - just maybe - let his emotions free before it was too late.  
  
"Please come now, I think I'm falling  
Holding on to what I think is safe.  
It seems I've found a road to nowhere  
And I'm trying to escape."  
  
Jou halted less than a foot from the edge, and looked down, his face grim with determination and his hair flopping about in the wind. Below him lay Domino's Teeth - the name given to the rocky area that had caused so many shipwrecks in Domino City's history. The Teeth seemed to beckon to him, inviting him to become another body to claim - and he was listening.  
  
"I am about to when I heard thunder," he sang softly.  
  
From behind him came a voice. "Jou! What are you doing?!"  
  
Ah, yes. He was here. The one person who could have saved the pitiful wreck Jou had become. The only other person Jou had ever truly, deeply cared for, on that special other plane. But that emotion, like the rest, was almost dead, Jou's heart an empty shell. If he'd have tried something sooner… but no. And now it was too late. Jou looked up and held the other boy's eye even as he strode to Jou, the boy's eyes mirroring the ocean and his trenchcoat flapping about his feet.  
  
"Damn it Mutt, what are you thinking?" Seto cried.  
  
Jou dropped the eye contact, instead facing the sea, and proclaimed his song loudly so that anyone who cared could listen.  
  
"But I'm down to one last breath!  
And will it let me say…?"  
  
Jou returned his attention to Seto, who stopped, and Jou's voice dropped to a more quiet, somehow morose tone.  
  
"Hold me now… I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
Maybe six feet ain't so far down."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Seto stared at Jou, his mouth hanging open slightly. 'Shit… he can't mean it!' his mind cried out. 'No… please?'  
  
Seto was perhaps the only person who understood what Jou felt like. He remembered how he felt when he'd nearly lost Mokuba. Jou had really come through for him then - Jou, of all people! - and Seto had begun to like the mutt. Or, as he had later realised was more appropriate, the puppy. He had never let on, of course, but he thought Jou could somehow tell anyway. Jou had begun to be even nicer to Seto, and Seto had grown to like Jou more in return. Eventually, Seto had even developed a crush on the little Jou puppy-dog.  
  
As Seto remembered how he had felt when Mokuba was on life support, he realised that this situation felt so similar - only this time, as well as having to prepare himself for grieving, he *was* Jou's life support machine. And screaming at anyone nearby to not hit the switch.  
  
"Jou!" Seto cried, his voice full of horror and desperation, not bothering to conceal how he felt any more. "Please… don't!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Jou heard the compassionate plea, and for a second his eyes cleared. Oh-so-briefly, he looked like he did when Serenity was still alive - when he was with Seto at Mokuba's side. The moment passed though, and he returned his attention to the Teeth.  
  
"I'm broken down, now that it's over  
I'm floating on my mistakes."  
  
Jou's foot began to creep forward, and Seto gasped. He prayed to any gods listening the he wouldn't have to witness Jou jumping, and rushed forward. However, Jou stopped and snapped his head back to Seto, causing Seto to freeze in his footsteps. He didn't like what he saw in Jou's eyes.  
  
"I thought I found the road to somewhere -"  
  
"Stop it Jounouchi!"   
  
"-Somewhere in his grace."  
  
'Shit, he really means it!' Seto gritted his teeth, trying desperately to think how he could get Jou to stop, or at least come away from the edge so they could talk.  
  
Jou returned his attention to the ocean again, amplifying his voice.  
  
"I cried out 'Heaven save me!'  
But I'm down to one last breath  
And will it let me say…?"  
  
Jou suddenly spun round totally, so he was completely facing Seto, taking a step toward Seto as he did so to catch his balance. His voice turned to halfway between screaming and singing, giving him and even rougher edge to it.  
  
"Hold me now! I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking  
Maybe six feet ain't so far down!"  
  
Jou began panting slightly. Was his anger finally beginning to break through?  
  
"I'm so far down… sad eyes follow me!"  
  
Jou's expression suddenly softened, as did his voice, and he fixed a pair of pleading eyes on Seto's ocean-blue jewels.  
  
"Well I still believe there's something left for me…"  
  
Seto saw the look Jou gave. 'Holy shit… does he feel for me too?!'  
  
"So please don't stay with me"  
  
Seto realised he had to try it.  
  
"Cause I still believe there's something there for you and me…"  
  
Seto caught Jou's eye, and for half a second the real Jou, the puppy, shone through, full of desperation and fear and… passion. He didn't want to jump… but he had nothing to stay for.  
  
"Jounouchi, I love you!"  
  
Jou's face softened, and stunned look crossed his eyes.  
  
His shoulders slumped and - ever so slowly - he began to lean back, almost involuntarily. As he carried on singing, his voice became almost a whisper.  
  
"Hold me now… I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking…"  
  
Seto screamed something - he didn't know what - and sprinted to Jou, diving to pull him away…  
  
…and just caught him. Seto bundled Jou up in his arms as he rolled away from the edge, holding him tightly.  
  
'Shit…' he thought. 'If he hadn't taken that one step forward…'  
  
Seto clutched his puppy closer, never wanting to let go. He realised then that he meant what he'd said to Jou - and if he had jumped, Seto couldn't guarantee anyone - even Mokuba - that he wouldn't have followed. He kissed Jou lightly on the forehead, and whispered "Please don't do that again."  
  
He suddenly realised that Jou was sobbing in his arms, his empty shell full again, the barriers broken down, and he barely caught the last line of Jou's song.  
  
"…holding on to what I think is safe…"  
  
His song over, Jou gripped Seto, all the bottled-up emotions flooding out. Grief. Anger. Despair. Hurt. Loneliness. Regret. But, most importantly of all, he had found someone who could help him.  
  
Jou planted a kiss on Seto's neck, before burying his face in Seto's chest. Between sobs, he managed to utter one more sentence. The one that meant the most to him.  
  
"…love you too, Seto…"  
  
At that moment, Jou slowly began to pick up the keys to the locks. And slowly, so slowly, his world began to come back together.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
So... what do we think people? Probably not my best work.. but I didn't think it was so bad really.  
And my question to you wonderful people is this: This fic was originally intended to be a one-shot, and it shall remain so. However... I recognise the opportunity for a sequel, as I'm sure many of you do. The question is - should I, and do you really think I'm capable?  
At any rate, please review! Onegai?  
Oh, and for those massive Yaoi fans out there... my current main fic is entitled 'The Forbidden Love of a Pharaoh' - it contains Yami\Yugi, Bakura\Malik, lots of fluffy scenes, will contain a couple of limes and a lemon or two, and I'm gonna try to put in a Seto\Jou pairing! ^_^ Go check it out - pretty please? 


	2. Sorrow, Secrets and Goodbyes

Well, lots of you asked for it, so here it is - the story is continued! Now, that didn't feature in my original plans, so this may not be a brilliant chapter... but what the hey, go for it!  
  
To leiko: Since you actually appreciated what you're SUPPOSED to do for songfics, I'm gonna make life easier for ya by putting the song titles in now as well ^_^ For anyone who wants to know, last chapter's theme was 'One Last Breath' by Creed.  
  
That's all the replies I need to make really, save for thanking everyone who reviewed! *huggle for all* And let's make it clear now, I AM A GUY! I am sick of ppl calling me authoress! Look at the freakin profile! Gargh!  
  
Ok, done flipping out, on with chapter two, which was inspired by the songs 'Last Time Forever' by Squeeze and 'Without You I'm Nothing' by Placebo.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Three months had passed since the events at Domino's Teeth. Jou and Seto had become an official item the very next day, and Jou had moved in to Seto's mansion a week later. He'd had no reason to stay at home - he had no real possessions, other than his duel deck, and without Serenity it was just him and his drunkard father, who only avoided becoming an alcoholic because he didn't have the money to.  
  
When Mokuba had asked why Jou was living with them - "I was happy with it only being us two, Onisama!" - Seto had explained how good Jou had been to him while Mokuba was in hospital, and how he had stuck by him all the way. Now that Jou had finally learnt to grieve for Serenity, he needed to be with friends all the time, rather than at home with - as Seto had put it - "That pathetic excuse of a man he calls a father." At this Mokuba had nodded happily - "Hai, Onisama" - and skipped to tell Jou he could use his game consoles any time he liked. Seto smiled - for Mokuba, that was one of the nicest things he had to offer.  
  
The two boys had agreed not to tell Mokuba about them being together yet. He was, after all, still only eleven years old, even if he was old beyond his years. They'd have to at least let him get used to Jou and accept him as 'one of the family' first.  
  
Officially, Jou slept in the first guest bedroom, which was on the same hallway as Seto's room. However, since Mokuba's room was on the other since of the house, and rules were made to be broken, things very rarely stayed that way. Jou had given up counting how many times he'd cried himself almost to sleep in his room and woken up in Seto's arms in Seto's room. Not that he minded any of it. Crying showed he cared, and it helped him heal. And who would object to waking in their boyfriend's arms? Exactly as he had this morning.  
  
However, last night he hadn't even tried staying in his own room - in fact, he hadn't even gone in there. Today would have been Serenity's birthday, and he hadn't been able to face the night alone. He had simply walked into Seto's room, fallen on top of Seto and his duvet and, much as the first time back at the Teeth, just buried his head in Seto's chest and cried. Seto had wrapped his arms - and half the duvet - around his puppy and kissed him. "Jou," he'd whispered. "I think tomorrow is the time to say goodbye."  
  
Which was why they were visiting Serenity's grave today.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
As the two boys walked up the slope to Serenity's grave - Mokuba, who hadn't really known Serenity, had stayed at home - they were both surprised to see five other figures already there. As Jou recognised Yugi, Yami, Ryou, Malik and Anzu, he turned to his lover. "Seto… did you…?"  
  
Seto shook his head honestly. "I was really only expecting us two."  
  
Yugi spotted Jou and Seto first and waved, before walking down to meet them halfway. "Hi guys," he said with a sheepish and half-apologetic smile on his face. "We kinda guessed you'd be coming today, and we wanted to say goodbye too." He gestured up the hill to everyone else. "She touched all of us."  
  
Jou felt a lump form in his throat. "Thanks Yug'," he whispered.  
  
When they got to the grave - a place that seemed so cold for a final marking place for one such as Serenity - Yugi returned to his spot next to Yami. Jou couldn't help but give a slight smile as he saw Yugi slip his hand straight into Yami's and rest his head against Yami's arm. He was quietly surprised to see that Ryou and Malik were still together too - but then, Malik had changed so much since Ryou had asked him out. He was almost… nice. Even now, as he stood with his arms around Ryou's waist, his eyes observed the grave with a genuine sadness.  
  
'Serenity even reached him…' Jou thought with a small, grieving mental sigh. As he turned his attention to her grave for the first time since the funeral, he felt his lower lip begin to quiver almost instantly. Right on cue, Seto slipped his arm around Jou's shoulders and whispered, "It's okay puppy… we're all here for you." Jou looked up at Seto, his eyes wet with tears and shining with gratitude.  
  
Absolute silence then descended upon the site as everyone remembered how much Serenity had meant to him or her.  
  
Anzu stepped forward and placed a teddy - a green and white rabbit that Serenity had always adored - down by the grave. 'You were my best friend Serenity,' she thought. 'God… I still can't believe you're really gone. Well, I *know* you're in heaven, and you're having a great time. I really miss you Serenity, and I know I won't forget you. You were like the little sister I never had… and a great one too. We're all proud to have known you Serenity.'  
  
Yugi watched as Anzu set the rabbit down and felt his throat tighten. 'God… Serenity. It's still so… *hard* to accept. We were so close; I used to talk to you about everything. You always tried your best to help, and even if it didn't work, we'd still have a giggle about it afterwards. I hope I get to heaven too, so we can talk again. God, Serenity, I…" At this, Yugi's emotions overcame him. As his eyes welled up, he turned and buried his face in Yami's jacket, sobbing quietly.  
  
Yami looked down at his hikari, and hugged him tightly. 'Serenity… whether we show it or not, we all feel the same as Yugi does. You were a truly beautiful girl, in body and spirit, and being buried in the Valley of the Kings wouldn't be enough for you. I should think Osiris was honoured to judge someone such as yourself.'  
  
Ryou stood with his eyes closed, unable to look at the dull, grey stone that was all that marked what remained of one of the most important people he'd known. Feeling his shoulders beginning to shakes as Yugi's sobs set him off, he snarled inwardly. 'Serenity… I'm sorry, I should be trying to cheer Yugi up. That's what you taught me, you remember? Always try to cheer others around you up. Well, maybe you didn't mean to teach me, but I learnt it from you. 'Cause that's what you always did. Maybe you didn't even try… but everyone here would be more miserable now if they'd never known you. You taught us all happiness in one way or another… and now we can never repay you. But, Serenity, if you can hear me… thanks for everything. Especially helping me ask Malik out. Thankyou so much.' Ryou couldn't contain himself any longer, and he too spun round and sobbed in his partner's arms.  
  
Malik held Ryou close, and whispered to the grave. "Serenity… you gave us all so much… but me especially. You helped me become who I am, and you gave me Ryou. No words could say what that or anything you've done for any of us means. Serenity… I hope you've found peace at last." At these words, he heard - or at least felt - a collective agreement from everyone around the grave.  
  
Even Seto had a few thoughts running through his mind. 'Serenity… I only ever met you at the hospital those few times you came in with your brother. Even so, you left a deep impact on me. Always so optimistic, and so happy. You were your brother's beacon; his hope and inspiration. Now that task has been handed to me, and if I can do half the job you did, he'll turn out to be a great man. I hope I don't let you down.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Jou allowed five or ten minutes to pass before clearing his throat. "Hey guys," he said, only just above mumbling. "If you're all done, I'd like a moment alone with my sis."  
  
Everyone nodded, and slowly made their way off, Yugi and Ryou still being comforted by their other halves and Anzu, who had a little trickle down her face herself. As Seto turned, Jou grabbed his arm. "Hey… tell them 'bout us, 'kay?" Seto said nothing, but simply smiled and nodded before walking off.  
  
When Jou was alone, he turned back to Serenity's grave. "Hey sis," he whispered. "It's me. I'm sorry I let you down and whatever, but… I guess I'll have to move on eventually. I know you wouldn't want me to mope around and beat myself forever, so I've started to forgive myself. But know this sis; just 'cause it's forgiven, doesn't mean I'll ever forget ya. You're still on my mind, and I can feel ya watching me from up there. I know I never took the time to say this to ya before, sis, but… I love you."  
  
Jou turned around, and began walking down to meet the others. "Happy birthday, Serenity."  
  
Somehow, Jou was sure that Serenity was behind him, waving goodbye. He could feel her. And not only that, but she was smiling again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ok, I'm not ashamed to admit it... maybe it was just because I was caught up in the emotion, but I nearly cried when I wrote those goodbyes! *sniffle*  
  
Anyways, please review people, and tell me if you think it should be a full-blown story or stopped there. Since I've the ideas, I may as well continue, but then I could just use them in another instead. *shrug* Your call!  
  
Now hit the purple button! 


	3. Happier Days for Jounouchi

Well, here it is everyone! Chapter three!  
As for the many wonderful reviews I recieved... thankyou everyone! There;s a hug for everyone who wants it, and a special huggle to Karen and ObiWanGirl coz I love you both so much!  
Now, everyone except ObiWanGirl asked me to continue... and Obi didn't review until after I'd written this chapter... I do agree, that would have been a great place to leave off, but I've got much more angst to come yet!  
  
*looks at fic*  
  
Man, I am gonna get so much hate mail this weekend... there's this chapter... and what happens to Yugi in 'Forbidden Love of a Pharaoh'... Oh kamisama, I'm a dead man.  
Anyway, enjoy!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A week had passed since everyone had paid their last respects to Serenity, and as the days had ground on Jou had slowly lifted himself from his depressive stupor. It was as if had could finally bring himself to let go and move on, to continue with his life. He'd started smiling and joking again, and had regained his former appetite - much to the concern of Seto's head chef.  
  
"Sir, if he keeps on like this he'll eat you out of house and home!"  
  
Seto smiled. "Granted, he has quite an appetite, but if that puppy can eat more than KaibaCorp can pay for, he's got an interesting career ahead of him."  
  
Seto had also gotten a lot happier over the last week. He'd even begun to make friends with Yugi and co - the "Puppy's Playmates" as he affectionately referred to them. Maybe it was because Jou was happier - or maybe Jou was cracking the cold shell Seto had always hidden behind to protect himself and Mokuba.  
  
Jou had settled in properly at Kaiba Mansion now - he knew where everything was, who all the servants were and which of them he could tease without being assaulted by a cold, wet tea towel the next morning. Of course, all this didn't mean that Jou had stopped going to Seto's room every night - that was one of the things he loved about living with Seto. Being able to wake in Seto's arms every morning and feel like the world was all right.  
  
Mokuba was also more comfortable around Jou, frequently taking the time to pull a face as he walked past, or to fire paper pellets from a rubber band when Jou wasn't looking. The two spent hours playing computer games together - or, to be more exact, Mokuba spent hours beating Jou hollow at whatever game they were playing. Mokuba was quite the little expert.  
  
It was during one of their frequent gaming sessions that Seto poked his head round the door. "Jou, Yugi just called. They're all off to the arcade if we want to meet them there."  
  
Jou and Mokuba both punched the air together. "Alright!"  
  
Seto smiled. "Sorry Mokuba, but a little birdie told me you have an important exam tomorrow."  
  
Mokuba's face fell, and he pouted. "Aww, no fair Onisama!"  
  
Jou laughed and ruffled Mokuba's hair. "Hey, I'll whoop ya there another time, ok?"  
  
Mokuba was about to respond, but Seto cut him off. "Well if we're going, it'd best be now. After all, we don't want to keep them waiting."  
  
Jou nodded, and the two headed off to get ready.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Courtesy of Seto's limo, he and Jou arrived at the arcade at almost the exact same time as the rest, who had come on foot. Yugi and Yami were hand in hand, and Malik had an arm around Ryou, who was resting against his koibito, a content smile on his face. The two pairs were the picture of happiness. The boys hadn't had to worry about people picking on them since Yami had Mindcrushed a couple of men who'd tried to mug Yugi. That, and Malik had circulated some very unsavoury rumours about the Shadow Realm. The overall result of this was that people knew which little group of friends not to cause trouble with.  
  
Accompanying the two partnerships were Bakura and Anzu, who were also regulars at the arcade. Seto and Jou hurried over to greet them all, and then they walked in together.  
  
As they opened the glass doors, the atmosphere from the arcade spilled out into the street. Flashing lights, machines roaring and bleeping and playing music, the hum of the crowd - the arcade was always busy - and…  
  
"Oh look! They laid a new carpet!" Ryou cried, inhaling deeply. "Don't you just love that smell?"  
  
The others all agreed, except Bakura who muttered something about a can of petrol and matches. As they entered the gang were finally able to hear the arcade's in-house radio station, which caused Yugi to emit a shriek of delight as he recognised the song and joined in.  
  
"You got me turning up and turning down, I'm turning in and turning round, I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so," he sang along happily, a huge smile adorning his innocent features.  
  
Jou turned to face the others. "Alright! Who wants to be the first person to lose to me?"  
  
"For three months," Seto added.  
  
Yami - king of games - raised his eyebrows. "You still haven't beaten Mokuba?"  
Jou faltered. "Yeah, well, I'm working on it!"  
"Jou, he's eleven! How hard can it be?"  
"Well, the kid's gifted!"  
"Or maybe you're losing it…"  
"Maybe you wanna lose one of your spikes!"  
"Now now Jou, my hair isn't the problem here. The lack of ability on your part is the problem."  
  
Before it could continue any further, Yugi placed a finger on Yami's lips and slipped an arm round his waist. He pulled the puppy-dog eyes and pretended to pout slightly, standing on tiptoe so he was nearly Yami's height. "Yamiii…" he whined. "I'm thirsty…"  
  
Yami desperately tried to resist, but it was a futile battle. Yugi knew *exactly* how to be both cute and seductive at the same time, and used it to his advantage whenever he could. Yami dug into his pocket with a sigh and pulled out some change for the vending machine. Yugi smiled, took the money, gave Yami a quick peck on the lips and skipped off happily.  
  
Anzu giggled at the two. "He's got you round his little finger, Yami."  
  
Yami was staring distractedly after Yugi, only half paying attention to Anzu. "Actually it's not that little… about six and…" Yami suddenly understood what Anzu meant and what he was saying, and a horrified look crossed his face. "Oh kamisama! Please say you didn't hear that!" Six smirks told him otherwise.  
  
Yugi skipped back, drink in hand, and Yami went bright red, much to Yugi's confusion. "So… what are we playing first?"   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Malik and Bakura had rushed off to play House of the Dead - a typical zombie-based shooting game - while Yugi, Yami and Anzu were playing the three-way basketball-shoot game beside it. Ryou was watching his partner and his Yami, shrieking every time a zombie leapt out of the shadows, making Bakura and Malik jump too. Seto and Jou were watching the basketball. The huge smirk on Yami's face suggested he was well in the lead. Anzu wasn't doing too badly - Seto reckoned she was making six in ten shots. As for poor Yugi… well, the silent snarl and the occasional low growl of frustration said it all. Two points.  
  
Jou snuggled up to Seto while they were waiting for their turn. "Thanks," he whispered, holding tightly to Seto's arm and resting his head on his shoulder.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Thanks," Jou repeated. "For everything." He gave Seto a little kiss on the neck causing him to squirm, a smile on his face. His neck was very ticklish and sensitive.  
  
"Anything for you," Seto whispered, before nipping Jou's ear. As Jou pulled his head away, laughing, he felt it hit something soft. He turned round and saw, in Seto's hand, a little dog teddy. He didn't know whether to laugh or feel insulted. "A puppy for my puppy," Seto whispered, before blowing a raspberry against Jou's neck, causing HIM to squirm so hard he fell off his chair. Seto wasn't the only one with a ticklish neck.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Many hours later, even Seto had run out of change. The gang were all stood by the doors.  
  
"Hey, where's Bakura and Malik?"  
  
Ryou looked up. "Oh, they went off to get a burger. The queue was quite long, so they'll probably be a while yet." Ryou shuddered. "How they can eat after some of *those* games is beyond me."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was true that Bakura and Malik were going to be a while. It was also true that the queue for a burger was long. That, however, was of no consequence to them.  
  
The two had found a dark space between two machines awaiting repairs. As soon as they had got there, Bakura had sunk both his hands into Malik's hair, pulling him close and crushing their lips together. Malik had pressed back, small groans running through his body. When Bakura released Malik, panting slightly, he growled "I thought they were never going to eave us alone."  
  
Malik nodded and kissed Bakura again, running both his hands down Bakura's body as he did so, hitching him closer.  
  
Malik didn't know why he did this. He didn't know why he couldn't stop himself. He didn't understand why he loved it and hated it together. He loved Ryou, and would die protecting him - on one occasion he'd had a very close call. He hated his unfaithfulness, and it haunted him frequently. All the time that he wasn't in Ryou's arms, when he forgot about everything else anyway.  
  
But there was something about Bakura, something delicious that he couldn't resist. He looked so much like Ryou - gorgeous, in other words - but he was so different. So much coarser, rougher, more dominant. He did things Ryou wouldn't dream of, and it left Malik more satisfied than Ryou did.  
  
Fuelled by nothing more than animalistic lust, Malik continued his assault on Bakura, who returned it with equal venom. Feral moans escaping their lips, the two pleasured eachother, kissing and fondling and grinding, as long as they dared before returning to the group, the others none the wiser of their discrete antics. Ryou greeted Malik with adoring eyes and a gentle kiss, and it tore through Malik's heart like a dagger. Taking Ryou's hand and kissing him gently, he followed everyone out of the arcade.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*hides* Now, I know it's not nice of me to do that to Ryou, but it's very important for later in the fic! *dodges various bits of crockery flying towards him* Oh come on, I love that dude as much as you do! If not more!  
*sprays an instant 5-minute Glandular Fever barrier into his mouth and grabs Ryou* I wanted this for so long... *spends 4 and a half minutes kissing him*  
What? Like none of you wanna? Feh, anyways, please review? Onegai? And I don't mean about the kissing! 


	4. Girl Talk and Flashbacks

Here's chapter four! Now, against the original run of the story, this is gonna be quite fluffy, but I'll explain myself at the end, okay?  
  
To silver-fox20: Yeah, poor Ryou... but it's gonna get worse later... Anyways, here's the update ^_^  
To ObiWanGirl: "Angst is wonderful"? Yeah, but only when people do a good job of it! Anyways, there's a couple more tear-jerkers coming yet, so stay tuned!  
To 'Yuki KIKI': More kind words ^_^ *blush* Feh, you're being too nice! Anyways, you'll get a nice dose of Ryou\Malik this chappie, so I hope you enjoy!  
To k3n5h1nXt5uZuk1: I know, I didn't wanna do that to Ryou... but it's essential for the fic, unfortunately...  
To 'Karen': I know I already emailed you, but you reviewed and so deserve recognition! ^_^ So thanks again for reviewing, and I'm glad someone picked out the puppy idea!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Dimly aware of activity in the room, Jou sleepily opened his eyes. When he saw the bed next to him was empty, he slowly lifted his head off the pillow to look round.  
  
"Sorry if I woke you, puppy," a half-dressed Seto called as he dashed past.  
  
Jou rolled over and looked at the alarm clock, almost choking in surprise when he saw the time. "What the?! Six forty-five? Does that time even exist in the morning?"  
  
"'Fraid so," Seto called from the bathroom, his mouth full of toothpaste.  
  
Jou groaned in disbelief and let his head fall back on the pillow. A couple of minutes later, Seto returned.  
  
"KaibaCorp phoned, there's an emergency meeting and I'm needed there ASAP," he explained. "On top of that, I've gotta arrange Mokuba's transport to school."  
  
Jou rolled over again, burying his face in the pillows. "Uh huh."  
  
Seto smiled. "Sure you don't fancy coming along?" All he caught from Jou's muffled response was 'no' and 'lay in'. Walking over to his sleepy puppy, Seto sat on the edge of the bed. "I'll see you later then," he whispered, gliding his fingers across the back of Jou's neck, silently laughing as Jou's body slowly went rigid through pleasure and trying not to twitch. Kissing Jou on the cheek, he stood up and left the room.  
  
At about twelve o' clock, Jou eventually stumbled down the stairs. Blinking, he made his way to the kitchen to find out if breakfast was still available or whether he had to move straight on to lunch. The large fry-up brought out to him answered his succinctly.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
An hour had passed since breakfast, and Jou couldn't deny it - a mansion's no fun on your own. He was bored.  
  
"I know!" he cried out loud. "I'll phone the guys, they'll come over!"  
  
He ran to the phone and dialled Yugi's number. The phone was picked up after a couple of rings.  
  
"Moshi moshi, Kame Game Shop," Yugi's voice stated.  
"Yo Yug', it's me. I was just wondering if you and Yami fancied coming round to Seto's? Free house, if you get me."  
"Well, Yami's out, but Ryou's here. Shall I bring him along?"  
"Sure, that saves me a phone call! How about Bakura and Malik? Are they there?"  
"No, they're with Yami. Getting their leathers dry-cleaned, I think…"  
Jou sighed. "They're as bad as women sometimes… okay, I'll see you two in… ten minutes?"  
"Sure! See ya soon!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The three boys sat in Seto's living room, eating Chinese and chatting. The TV was on, but it was only providing background noise.  
  
"Hey Jou," Yugi began, a mouthful of Satay chicken trapped between his chopsticks. "I was just wondering… how did you and Seto end up together? I mean, you two used to hate eachother!"  
  
Jou finished chewing his Chow Mein and swallowed before replying. "Well, you remember when Mokuba was in hospital, and Seto took it really badly?" The other two nodded. "Well, Serenity decided that we should go and pay a visit to cheer him up - she had to practically drag me along, mind. And.. well, I dunno, I guess I felt sorry for the guy, so I kept going back. Gradually we grew to like eachother as friends, and I developed a crush on him. Even now I don't know what attracted me - I guess was just him."  
  
Ryou nodded understandingly, though Yugi looked like he didn't quite follow.  
  
"Then one day, well after Mokuba was out of the hospital, he saved my life and told me he loved me. I realised then that I loved him too, and… well, the rest is history." The two guessed Jou didn't want to talk about how Seto saved, and didn't press for detail.  
  
Ryou smiled, memories flooding back to him. "Serenity was involved with me and Malik too. I'd always talk to her about him, all the time. I don't know how long I liked Malik for, but she'd heard all of it. So you can imagine how I felt when she told me Malik had a crush on me!" Ryou bowed his head slightly. "Not that I had the guts to ask him out, of course. And he wouldn't believe her when she said that I'd liked him for ages. After all he'd been through with his yami, can you blame him for being wary?"  
  
Yugi and Jou both considered before replying. Jou voiced both their thoughts, "Nah, guess not."  
  
"Well, he was convinced that someone - and I quote - 'as sweet and innocent as Ryou' couldn't possibly be interested in someone like him. So, Serenity decided to play matchmaker…"  
  
*~*~*Flashback*~*~*  
  
Ryou looked up from where he sat as Malik practically fell through the doorway, closely followed by Serenity, whose face showed she was intent on *something*. She closed the door behind her and locked it, putting the key in her sock for safekeeping. The massage was clear: no-one was leaving until she said so. She grabbed Malik by the arm and called Ryou over. "Stand there," she said, indicating a spot on the floor about two feet in front of Malik.  
  
Doing as he was told, Ryou looked expectantly at Serenity, not sure what was going on.  
  
"Okay Ryou, answer honestly. Do you like Malik?" she asked. Ryou felt a massive blush spread across his cheeks and he looked away, staring at the floor somewhere under his right arm.  
  
"Malik, do you have a crush on Ryou?" Malik also looked away, folding his arms and muttering something along the lines of 'Geez, you'd think she was fucking marrying us or something.'  
  
Serenity chose to ignore that. "So neither of you denies it. Now look at eachother."  
  
The two slowly raised their heads, the pink tinge still evident on Ryou's cheeks. When they made eye contact, Ryou froze for half a second, his eyes wide, before he smiled shyly and quickly looked away again, staring at his feet. Malik couldn't help but notice how amazingly sweet Ryou looked, or that it was because of the questions that Ryou was blushing, and a pinkish tinge soon lightened his tanned face too.  
  
Sighing in exasperation, Serenity gave Ryou a helpful shove into Malik, who caught him almost instinctively. Ryou hadn't been able to help himself, stood there with Malik's arms around him, and he slowly slid his arms round Malik, hugging him tight. Malik gently eased Ryou's head down till it was resting on Malik's shoulder, and he rested his own head against Ryou's silky-soft white tresses, sighing contentedly.  
  
"Oh for pity's sake!" Serenity cried, even though the delight was already evident on her face. "Just kiss him! Do it for me!"  
  
With that, Ryou lifted his head and gazed into Malik's eyes, a small smile playing about his lips. Closing his eyes, he slowly leaned forward till their lips met.  
  
*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*  
  
Yugi squeaked in delight at Ryou's story, hugging his knees up to his chest. "That is so kawaii!" he cried, eyes sparkling. Releasing his knees, he hugged himself, swinging his feet under his chair happily. "I remember how me and Yami got together…"  
  
*~*~*Flashback 2*~*~*  
  
Valentine's Day. How it always hurt Yugi. Every year, he always secretly hoped for at least one card, and every year he got nothing. This year, he'd hoped for a card from a particular person, a special someone… but it had been the same as always. Nothing. Utter rejection again. And now, all the years caught up on him, Yugi lay on his bed, sobbing his little heart out.  
  
He suddenly felt a weight next to him on the bed where someone had sat down. "Aibou?"  
  
"Hi Yami," Yugi whispered through his tears. Yami was the one person he didn't need to see right now.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Yugi managed to stifle his sobs down to sniffles, but he kept his face buried in the pillow. "Valentine's Day."  
  
Yami gently placed a hand on Yugi's shoulder. "Oh Yugi, lots of people don't get anything. It's not the end of the world."  
  
Yugi sniffled. "But it was supposed to be different this year! It was supposed to be special… I really had my hopes up, you know? I was hoping I'd get at least a card from that one special person I love with all my heart…" Yugi sniffled again. "But you didn't even -"  
  
Yugi suddenly stopped, his heart pounding as he realised his slip of the tongue. Had Yami noticed?  
  
The silence dragged on till it was almost unbearable. Yugi turned over and peeked out of one eye, and saw the stunned look on Yami's face.  
  
"You love… me?"  
  
Yugi sat up, his head bowed and his eyes closed. "Hai, Yami, aishiteru… please don't hate me…"  
  
"How could I hate you, Yugi?" Watashimomata aishiteru…" [1]  
  
Yugi's head shot up, his eyes sparkling. "Really yami?" he asked, his voice a mixture of hope and excitement.  
  
"Hai, aibou. I -" Yami was cut off as Yugi dived on him, wrapping his arms round Yami and smothering him with kisses. Yugi already knew why Yami hadn't told him before - it was the same reasons Yugi hadn't told him. And Yugi didn't want to waste time hearing what he already knew.  
  
Yami quickly regained his composure, and soon caught Yugi's lips with his own. Both kissing eachother gently, Yami slowly pulled Yugi down, till they were both laid on the bed. That night was the first of many spent in eachothers' arms.  
  
*~*~* End flashback*~*~*  
  
Ryou sighed. "On Valentine's Day… how romantic."  
  
Jou nodded. "I guess Yami's a bit of a sap after all," he added with a cheeky grin.  
  
Just then, the living room door opened. "Ah, there's my puppy," a rather weary-looking Seto smiled. As he noticed the slightly distant looks on everyone's face, his smile turned into a look of confusion. "Are you all on drugs or something?"  
  
Jou stood up and kissed his partner, wrapping his arms round Seto's waist as he did so. "No, we were just reminiscing a bit."  
  
"…I see…"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
[1] Watashimomata aishiteru = I also love you; I love you too.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Okay, I know that right now that chapter just seemed like a load of fluffy drivel, but it will become important later in the story! You also got to find out a bit more about each pairing too ^_^  
Anyways, for those of you who love angst and sadness and drama, there's gonna be plenty of that soon - starting next chapter.  
In the mean time, I forgot to mention last week (too busy with Ryou) but I now have an active author alert status! That means if you put me on your 'author alert' list, you'll get an email everytime ANYTHING I do is updated, or a new story is posted. Just saves you having to check in on me daily or whatever, that's all ^_^  
Anyhoo, please review! Odaijini [take care], ja mata ne! 


	5. The Truth Revealed

Well hey again all! I apologise for the lack of updates lately, oh mighty loyal readers whom I exist to serve, but I've been ill and had writer's block and numerous personal problems and everything's just gargh. Ever notice how things get bad really quickly, but take forever to pick up?  
Anyway, on with the reviews!  
  
*blink* Wow... nothing specific to answer... no questions or anything... just praise... that's a first!!! *huggles to Yugi-Chan, ObiWanGirl, Tasan15, Ranma Higurashi, Kayu, Yami Lee, tsunamiscurse, Yuki KIKI, Star Girl11, WingedWolf (aka Tenshiwolf?) and silver-fox20 for reviewing!!!*  
  
Well, on with the fic...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Seto and Jou lay together in Seto's bed, Jou's head resting on Seto's chest. They were talking and joking about the chat Jou had been having with Yugi and Ryou before Seto had gotten back.  
  
"She threw him through the door?" Seto exclaimed, a huge grin on his face as he envisioned Serenity picking Malik up over her head and launching him.  
  
"Well… not literally, but sure wasn't going voluntarily," Jou replied. "Seriously, she knew how to get her own way - she even scared me sometimes!"  
  
Seto laughed. "Puppy, that isn't difficult."  
  
Jou simply growled at that remark, making Seto laugh again. "Ah man, you should've heard us - it was like a girl's night in! All we needed was some make-up and a chick flick!" At this, both boys envisioned Ryou sitting and putting bows in Yugi's hair, causing them both to chuckle loudly.  
  
Jou sighed and rolled over a quarter turn, so that his front was against Seto's side. He slipped one arm under Seto, drawing him into a semi-hug, and snuggled up against his koi. Jou idly doodled on Seto's chest with his fingers as he spoke, causing Seto to twitch slightly. "It's so hard to believe it's been almost four months."  
  
"Four months?"  
  
Jou frowned and jabbed Seto in the stomach sharply, causing him to half sit up with a gasp. Jou's frown soon became a smile - Seto's stomach and chest tensed whenever he was in that position, and he was unquestionably sexy then. Not that he wasn't anyway, Jou mentally added. He returned his head to Seto's chest, nuzzling against the warm, soft skin. "Four months since we started going out," he explained.  
  
Seto felt a small tinge of pride at that, amongst the happiness. Jou was no longer measuring his life since Serenity's death; he was now measuring it against their first day. Seto turned over so he was facing Jou and drew him into a long hug. It was moments like this that Jou loved most - he felt so secure and relaxed in Seto's arms, and when it was just the two of them it didn't have to break until they wanted it to.  
  
Jou gently kissed Seto's chest, whispering, "I love you Seto." He felt a kiss on the top of his head, and Seto replied, "I love you too, puppy."  
  
The two lay like that for a while, each having his own thoughts, enjoying the feeling of having the other in their arms (and being in the other's arms) and not saying a word. Just enjoying it. Eventually, though, Jou broke the silence. "Seto…?"  
  
A rather sleepy "Hmm?" confirmed Seto was still - just - awake.  
  
"I was thinking… maybe it'd be nice to mark the occasion, you know? Go out somewhere or something? I mean, four months is longer than I've ever gone out with anyone for."  
  
Seto sighed, trying desperately to climb out of sleep's clutches. "Same here," he murmured. "I guess it would be nice… but I'll only do anything if you're extra nice to me between now and then," he added with a sly grin.  
  
Jou pushed his weight with his leg, rolling the two over so that he was laid on top of Seto. Sitting up slightly, he smirked down at Seto. "This nice enough for ya?" With that, he leaned down, his lips meeting Seto's, gradually leaning in deeper until their lips had turned white from the pressure. He gently traced his hands down Seto's body, drawing small murmurs from Seto until it reached its target, causing Seto to gasp through their kiss in surprise. As Jou set to work, Seto began moaning, his groans of pleasure vibrating through Jou's body, and Seto's grip on Jou tightened as he began to move with him.  
  
Suddenly, Jou felt Seto freeze, and he pulled away from the kiss to ask what was wrong. Before he could speak, however, his question was answered - he peripherally noticed someone by the door. Slowly, almost guiltily, Jou turned his head to see exactly who it was.  
  
Mokuba stood by the door, dressed in pyjamas covered with miniature Pikachus and holding a teddy bear by one arm, as if holding his hand. His eyes were wide, and a mixture of confusion and horror fused with the stunned expression on his face, telling Seto and Jou that he'd seen enough.  
  
Jou rolled off Seto, uttering a quiet "Shit…" as he did so, and Seto sat up and fixed his eyes on Mokuba's. Not sure what to say, he began, "Look, Mokuba, I…"  
  
Mokuba took a small step backward. "I… I had a… a nightmare…" the boy stuttered, his voice sounding distant as if someone were speaking through him, rather than him speaking for himself. He took another step, never taking his eyes off his brother's, before turning and bolting out the door.  
  
"Mokuba!" Seto cried, practically throwing himself out of the bed and landing on his feet, before charging off after the little one. Jou also got out of bed and set about dressing, so that at least one of them wouldn't be naked when Seto brought Mokuba back.  
  
Seto reached the bottom of the stairway and looked round. His brother had certainly used his head start to the fullest. "Mokuba?"  
  
The only reply he got was the slam of the front door. Seto cursed loudly and ran back up the stairs to dress. "Jou!" he called. "Phone your friends, Mokuba's run away!" her heard a yell of confirmation and set his teeth grimly. He wasn't going to lose Mokuba.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"And he ran away?"  
"Yes."  
  
Seto looked round the room. Yugi, Yami, Malik, Ryou, Bakura and Anzu had all turned up within a few minutes, even though Yugi and Ryou looked like they were still asleep - even Yugi's hair seemed to be wilting. "Thankyou all for coming… we need to go out and find him."  
  
Yami nodded. "And fast."  
  
As if in confirmation, a great rumble of thunder rolled across the sky. Seto looked out the window and, for the first time, saw the rain teeming down, being lashed by strong gusts of wind. How he hadn't heard it was beyond him.  
  
'Mokuba' Seto thought, his jaw hanging open slightly as the full reality of the situation slowly sank in. 'He's out there somewhere… cold and wet and scared…' As the human brain is prone to doing, Seto began imagining the worst possible case scenarios. 'What if he's facedown in a ditch right now? Or someone's taken him away? He's probably petrified… God, we have to help him!' Seto felt tears stinging his eyes, and he screwed his face up. "Mokuba…"  
  
Jou took one look at Seto and took charge. "Yugi and Yami, you search the park. Ryou, Malik, you search the tip. Anz-"  
  
Bakura cut Jou off. "I'm not having my hikari at the tip at this time of night! I'll go!"  
  
"Alright… Bakura and Malik, go search the tip." Bakura looked a little too pleased about this for Jou's liking, but he decided it didn't matter right now. "Ryou and Anzu, you check the streets in that direction. Me and Seto will check the rest." Everyone, save Seto, nodded and headed for the door. Once it slammed shut, indicating the last one had left, Jou heard a choked sob from behind him. Turning round, he saw Seto had a trail of tears down each cheek.  
  
"Mokuba…" Seto whispered, and he began to cry more heavily. Jou walked over and took his love in an embrace, Seto practically falling into his arms.  
  
"I already nearly lost him once…" he sobbed. "I can't do this… not again."  
  
Jou kissed Seto on the neck gently. "Come on," he whispered. "I was there for ya then, and I'm here for ya now… You can do this, just keep optimistic." Seto choked back another sob, and Jou kissed him again, shushing gently in his ear. "It's okay… look, Mokuba's still alive. We've just gotta find him." Jou didn't know if Seto would take the deeper meaning from that or not - Jou had lost Serenity, never to return, and Mokuba had become a little brother to him. He wasn't going to let Seto lose him.  
  
Seto sniffed and looked Jou in the eye, nodding. "You're right…" he hoarsely whispered. He hugged Jou once more. "Let's go."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Out on the tip, Malik and Bakura had found nothing. Truth be told, they weren't searching as hard as Malik would have liked, but it was hard to resist Bakura's amorous advances.  
  
Anzu and Ryou also had no luck. They checked every street, alley and side road time and again, just in case he'd kept on the move, but found nothing, save for a soggy cat that spat at Ryou.  
  
Seto's limo driver, who had been awoken and told to drive round and look for Mokuba, also had no luck.  
  
Seto and Jou had found nothing, and Seto grew more desperate as time wore on. 'Where could he be?' Another empty road. 'He can't have just vanished…' No luck there. 'Did someone take him after all?' Another blank. 'Mokuba… I failed you as a brother. I should have just told you from the start. I'm sorry…'  
  
Again, Seto felt tears stinging his eyes, and Jou drew him into a hug, whispering comforting words. Jou's optimism was all that kept him going.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
In the park, fortunes were different. Yami and Yugi were searching the bushes bordering a field, one on either side. Yami was resolutely going on, regardless of how he felt, but Yugi's hope was beginning to sink. How far could Mokuba have gotten? Where and when would he have stopped? What chance did they have of finding him anyway?  
  
Just as Yugi's hopes were beginning to take a further dip, the weather beginning to affect him, he saw something out of sync with the green leaves of the bushes. A boom of thunder rolled across the sky once more as he reached out and plucked the teddy from the branches.  
  
"Yami!" he cried, but his words were whipped away by the wind, carried to a distant place where no-one could hear them. Sighing, he grimly turned to the bushes. 'You'll have to find him on your own' he told himself, trying to pluck up the courage to walk in, fearing what he might find - or might not. Taking a deep breath, the rain trickling off his waterproof jacket, he pushed his way into the bushes, shouting Mokuba's name as he went.  
  
Somehow, Yugi faintly heard his name being called in reply. "Yugi!" He turned to face where he thought it had come from and pushed his way through, trying not to get his hopes up but at the same telling himself that there was a chance, and he had to try. He pushed through a thick batch of branches and came to a thicket, where the trees branches were so thick they provided an impenetrable cover. In the middle, shivering uncontrollably despite the fact that it was slightly warmer in this shelter, was Mokuba.  
Yugi had found him.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The two sat next to eachother, a silence between them as Yugi slowly let Mokuba get used to his presence. Mokuba hadn't wanted to get up when Yugi had offered his hand, and Yugi hadn't felt inclined to force him. He pondered his words carefully, not wanting to drive Mokuba further away.  
  
Yugi sighed. "You know, Mokuba, your brother's worried about you. He's got us all out looking for you."  
  
Mokuba looked up at Yugi, his eyes wide. "I… I didn't mean to scare him, Yugi-san…I didn't know what I was doing… It was just… him and Jou, were… and it…"  
  
Yugi put an arm round Mokuba's shoulders and hugged him comfortingly. "It's not so strange really, Mokuba. Lots of people are like that. I know it's not *normal* in the eyes of most, but it doesn't make it wrong."  
  
Mokuba sniffed, his shivering more controlled now that he had Yugi's rain jacket to keep him warm. "I know that, but… it just surprised me, and it was kinda scary… I mean, I thought I knew him, and then… I saw that, and I just…"  
  
Yugi squeezed Mokuba again. "You never really know someone, Mokuba." Yugi smiled as he thought back to Yami on their first night together. "I mean, take me, for example…"  
  
Mokuba giggled at this, the first time his face had shown anything other than sadness or worry since Yugi had found him. "Oh, don't worry Yugi, I knew YOU were since duellist kingdom!"  
  
Yugi's face dropped at this. "You didn't need to be so blunt about it…" he murmured, only just preventing himself from pouting.  
  
Mokuba giggled again, his cares slipping away like only the innocence of youth can allow them to. Unfortunately, a thought that troubled him struck again.  
  
"Seto… will he be upset with me? I mean… because I ran away?"  
  
Yugi smiled. "No, Mokuba. He loves you, and he's not angry. He just wants to know you're safe. I think he wants to say sorry to you, though."  
  
Mokuba stared at his feet a while, contemplating what Yugi had said. Eventually, he looked up. "Promise?"  
  
Yugi smiled and stuck out his little finger. "Pinkie promise!" he returned with a slight giggle.  
  
Mokuba smiled and stuck out his pinkie finger too. "I guess I'd better get home then."  
  
Yugi nodded. "Let's find Yami, and then we'll go back with you."  
  
Mokuba paused a moment. "Is Yami your…?"  
  
Yugi nodded. "To be honest Mokuba… almost all of our group is at least half that way."  
  
Mokuba pondered this, and grinned weakly, trying to make a joke. "I guess Seto never had a chance then."  
  
Yugi smiled in return, and the two boys got up and slowly made their way back out to the field.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Seto spun round as the sky above him illuminated. Someone had fired their flare gun. Before they'd left, each party had been given a flare gun, each a different colour, so that if they found Mokuba they could alert the others. The sky had illuminated red - that meant Mokuba had been in the park. Seto choked back a sob, he was so relieved. Mokuba was found. Regardless of how he was, he had been found. The wondering could stop. Grabbing Jou's hand, he sprinted back to his mansion, desperate to see Mokuba again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Mokuba? Mokuba, can you hear me?"  
  
Yami gently shook Mokuba's prone form, but got no response. When he'd met up with Yugi and Mokuba, he too had given his rain jacket to Mokuba, to keep him warm. They'd all headed back to Seto's mansion from the park, and along the way Mokuba had been complaining that he "felt a bit weird." Yami hadn't known what to think, though Yugi had looked concerned. Along the way, Mokuba had visibly gotten worse, and eventually just stopped complaining. At Seto's gate, Mokuba had collapsed.  
  
Yugi looked at Yami, his eyes full of worry and fear. "Yami, what's wrong? Will he be okay?" Yugi's voice was full of fear and optimism together - he was relying on Yami to do or say something to make it right. And all Yami could do was look at Mokuba - he had no medical knowledge, and didn't know what he should do. Yugi's eyes drifted to the boy's body, and he felt a lump in his throat. It shouldn't happen to someone like Mokuba - he was always so cheerful, so full of life. Then again, Serenity had been too…  
  
Yugi's thoughts were interrupted by Seto's yell. "Mokuba!" he cried, his voice full of horror. He knelt down by his brother, an unspoken gasp holding his mouth open. Checking Mokuba's pulse and breathing, he asked "What happened?" Yami quickly recounted the events since they'd left the park, and a grim look settled on Seto's face. "I don't know what's wrong… but he needs medical attention, now."  
  
Seto grabbed for his cell phone, but his hands were shaking too badly for him to hit the right buttons. Jou gently prised it from his grip, and moved away from the group that were now huddled round so he could call an ambulance. Seto, distraught at the sight of his brother's current condition, felt tears beginning to roll down his cheeks and made no effort to stop them. He was unaware of anyone or anything else around him - he just knew that, for the second time, he was losing Mokuba.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
So... will Mokuba pull through... or is he gonna become my second character to die?  
Oh, and I have a few questions... how many of you noticed an important point I raised in this fic? Notice how much Serenity has affected the story even though she died before the fic even started? Can anyone guess what else she's going to do? And can anyone guess what my point is? Special awards to anyone who can get those!  
At any rate, I apologise again for the lack of updates, and if this chapter sucked I apologise for that too... but we're soon gonna get back to the angst you all love!  
Just hit that lilly purple button, okies? ^_^ 


	6. Last Time Forever

Well, as per songficcyness, the songs used to inspire me to this chapter are as follows:  
  
'Last Time Forever' - Squeeze  
'Bright Eyes' - Art Garfunkel  
'Time to say Goodbye' - Andrea Bochelli (thanks to Ash for that one *huggle*)  
'Eventide' - Chris Michell and Stuart Gordon  
  
In this chapter, I make reference to the Omachi virus, a virus of my own creation, as well as events from a previous fic. Those of you haven't should go and read 'Bright Eyes' before this chapter, it's very angsty and will make this chapter make a whole lot of sense. It's only a one-shot, so it won't take long! And if you don't like angst... you don't wanna read this one.  
  
Now, on with the reviews! I noticed a few of you think Serenity's gonna come along and save Mokuba... just have a lil wait and see ^_^  
  
To 'Azumi': *blinks* Thanks... methinx!  
To 'Yuki KIKI': Yeah, but that's good writers... you've probably already got the whole fic sussed! ^_^  
To 'tsunamiscurse': *hides*  
To Nanashii no Miko: I'm so sorry...  
To BakuraslittlediscipleofEvil: You liked it? Cool ^_^ *accepts Pixie sticks happily* Hope you like this one too! And say hi to Yugilina for me!  
To silver-fox20: *blink* You'll see...  
To Ranma Higurashi: Here's the update  
To thornangel: *huggle* it's okay... just have some tissues nearby for this one, okay?  
  
*sigh* Here's the ficcie... *wanders off somewhere to sob quietly*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The friends all sat in an isolated waiting room, an uncomfortable silence enveloping them. Seto was being held by Jou, his head buried in Jou's chest, crying silently as his love stroked his hair. Jou knew how much this was upsetting Seto - both from experience and because he'd seen first-hand how close Seto and Mokuba were. He knew there wasn't anything he could say that would help. All he could do was be there for him.  
  
Yugi also looked ready to cry. He was the one who'd found Mokuba, who'd not done anything when Mokuba had complained about feeling unwell, who hadn't been able to do anything when Mokuba collapsed. What if he had done something? What if he'd listened to Mokuba? What if he'd found him sooner, instead of pausing to feel sorry for himself? Yugi knew it was irrational, but he somehow felt partly to blame for Mokuba's current condition. Yami, seeing how upset he was, held Yugi in a tight embrace. He was upset as well, but didn't want to let on for Yugi's sake, as well as Seto's and Jou's.  
  
The other four sat on a row of chairs opposite Seto and Jou. They all looked upset to varying degrees, and spent most of the time staring at their hands, or the floor, or the walls. Anything to avoid eye contact with anyone else.  
  
Eventually, Malik broke the silence. Standing up, he murmured, "I'm just going to the bathroom…" and began walking to the door. He heard clothes rustling behind him, and Bakura's voice, a faint whisper. "I'll go too…" he stated, before following Malik out the door.  
  
A few moments after they left, a doctor walked in, a grim look on his face, and asked, "Which of you is Seto Kaiba?"  
  
Seto slowly lifted his head and turned to face the doctor. "I am." His voice began to tremble. "W… what's wrong with my… my brother?"  
  
The doctor looked at his clipboard. "Well, preliminary tests show that Mokuba has caught a variant strain of the Omachi virus. It -"  
  
A sob was heard from Seto and Anzu, and a gasp from Yugi and Ryou. At the same time Jou pulled Seto in tighter, for both of them, as Yami interrupted the doctor. "We know about the Waiting virus. I had it."  
  
The doctor cleared his throat uncomfortably, and continued. "The cold and wet has weakened Mokuba's immune system… we can't tell what his chances of survival are." When no-one said anything, he walked to the door and held it open. "If you'll follow me, I can show you to his room."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Seto sat by Mokuba's bed, holding his clammy hand gently. The tears his eyes held prevented him being able to see Mokuba properly, and he was grateful. He saw Mokuba's blurred outline, and could make out his thick black hair. He could also make out lots of tubes and wires attached to him. He didn't know how Yugi had been able to even look at Yami when he'd been in this situation, the heart-wrenching sight before him coupling with the fear of what might be to create an all-encompassing shroud of despair. Seto was only dimly aware of Jou holding his other hand, and certainly didn't know who else was in the room.  
  
Yugi stood at the foot of the bed, Yami beside him with a hand on either of Yugi's shoulders. Tears also filled Yugi's eyes, both out of pity and heartache for Seto and because of the memories this brought back. Mokuba looked so much like Yami did - ashen-faced, unmoving, lifeless. But for the faint, hitched rise and fall of his chest, Mokuba could have already been dead. Yugi truly understood what Seto was going through, as did Jou, and either of them would have given anything to alleviate Seto's pain. But they couldn't - all they could do was wait and see if Mokuba would pull through.  
  
Anzu was the only other person in the room, as Ryou had excused himself to go and find Malik and Bakura. He hadn't been able to face seeing Mokuba without having his yami and his koi by his side. Anzu stood at Mokuba's bedside, opposite Seto and Jou. She forcibly held back her tears as she looked down at the delicate figure before her, as pale and still as a porcelain doll. 'Mokuba…' Anzu closed her eyes, but the image still haunted her. 'This can't be happening to you… You're so young, so pure, so innocent… just like Serenity was…' Anzu felt another, stronger wave of emotion flow over her, and she swallowed and screwed her face up, forcibly preventing a sob that threatened. She was the only person not immediately affected by what was happening, and she had to be strong for the others.  
  
'Mokuba… please get through this… We couldn't take losing another, not after Serenity… Nearly losing Yami was bad enough. You're the little brother Jou never had, and the only family Seto has left Mokuba… Please, pull through this for them, if not for us… please…'  
  
'They need you…'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ryou stood in the waiting room, not sure what to do. Bakura and Malik still hadn't returned, and they needed to know where to go. However much he wanted to be with the others to support them, he knew he couldn't do it without those two by his side. Deciding he'd be best to go and find them, so he at least felt like he was doing something positive, he began to make his way to the toilets. At least he knew where *they* were - after all, he and Yugi had been here with their yamis often enough.  
  
As Ryou walked down the corridor, he heard Bakura's voice. "I know, but we never get time alone." Confused, Ryou slowed down, stopping by the corner to listen as Malik's reply came floating to his ears. "Bakura, Mokuba's ill. We need to be there for the others. Even if you won't listen to that, they'll be getting suspicious soon. We need to get back."  
  
Ryou frowned and pursed his lips slightly. What were they talking about?  
  
Bakura's hoarse whisper made Ryou stiffen slightly. "Alright… just one more." With that, Ryou heard a small thud, followed by a moaning sound.  
  
'That sounds like Malik moaning…' Ryou's curiosity got the better of him, and he quietly walked round the corner. What he saw made him freeze on the spot.  
  
Bakura and Malik were kissing. Malik was pressed against the wall, one arm around Bakura and the other hand in his hair. Bakura had a hand on either of Malik's hips and was driving into Malik with his full body, pinning him in place. Both boys were moaning softly, and Malik's hand began to slide under Bakura's shirt. Ryou took all this in in a second, and gasped loudly, pain evident in this simple inflection. The two broke the kiss hurriedly and turned to face Ryou, guilt and regret written all over their faces.  
  
Ryou felt his eyes fill with tears, and made no effort to stop them. A single sob escaped him, tearing through his chest painfully, and he turned and ran, his heart torn asunder. He didn't hear Malik call his name, or notice Malik chasing. All he wanted was to get as far away as he could.  
  
"Ryou!" Malik watched him turn and run round the corner before his legs started, and he began to give chase.  
  
*~*~*Flashback*~*~*  
  
Ryou slipped across the bed and wrapped his arms delicately round Malik, his cherished. Resting his head on Malik's shoulder, he sighed contentedly. "I love you Malik," he whispered, planting a kiss on Malik's cheek and shuffling slightly closer. "I couldn't live without you… I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you."  
  
Malik didn't reply, but simply kissed Ryou's forehead and pulled him closer still, hugging him tightly. He knew that that simple sentence was intended as a sign of adoration, but words couldn't express how the guilt ripped through him as it left Ryou's lips. Feeling Ryou falling asleep on him, he felt his eyes fill with tears as he realised what he was doing to his little angel.  
  
*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*  
  
It hit Malik as he rounded the corner. He loved Ryou. Only now, when it seemed he'd lost him forever, did he realise it. Far too late. He'd never wanted Bakura; he knew that now. It had only been a denial of feelings alien to him after all that Marik had put him through. A way of lying to himself so he could keep to what he knew.  
  
'Like that matters now,' he thought bitterly as he ran, calling Ryou's name again, tears stinging his eyes. 'You really fucked this up Malik… big time.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
In Mokuba's ward, there came a collective faint gasp as Mokuba's eyes flickered slightly. Seto squeezed Mokuba's hand slightly tighter, and nearly cried with relief when he felt pressure applied back. "Mokuba… you're alive…" he whispered.  
  
Mokuba moaned slightly, and his eyes slowly opened, his face still pale. He weakly rolled his head to face Seto and gave a small smile. "Ohayou, niisama…" he faintly murmured.  
  
Seto felt his chest flutter as Mokuba spoke. He was going to be okay. "Hi Mokuba… you had us scared for a while there…"  
  
Mokuba closed his eyes and squeezed them slightly, forcing a tear back. Effort was written all over his face as he did it, and his eyes opened even more slowly this time. "Seto… you and Jou… I just wanted to tell you…" Mokuba grimaced slightly, the effort of talking hurting him hugely. "I'm happy for you, niisamas…"  
  
Jou spoke quietly, his eyes gazing on Mokuba adoringly. "Come on Mokuba, save your energy… you can tell us all this when we get you out of here."  
  
Mokuba shook his head slightly, and stared at Seto, his eyes teary. "I have to say it now… in case… in case…"  
  
Seto leaned over the bed and hugged his younger brother, alarmed at how cold he felt. "Shhh Mokuba… don't talk like that… don't speak like it's the end… you're gonna be fine now." He felt Mokuba's arms slip up round him, hugging him back. He spoke again, and Seto felt a cold chill at the fear in Mokuba's voice. It was as if he knew something they didn't. "Niisama…" He heard Mokuba sob faintly. "I don't want to go…"  
  
Seto's eyes opened wider, and he held Mokuba as tightly as he dared. He felt a tear slide down his face, splashing on Mokuba's neck. "You're not going anywhere Mokuba… you're going to be fine. You just need to rest."  
  
Mokuba shook his head faintly, and Seto felt Mokuba's grip weakening. "I…" Mokuba's voice was trembling, as was he, and Seto heard Mokuba stifle another sob. "I love you Seto… and Jou too…"  
  
Seto felt Mokuba go limp in his arms, and looked at his face. Mokuba's eyes had gone distant, and his lips had a slight bluish tinge. "No…" He lifted his head as the heart machine started beeping erratically, and saw Yami rush off out the door. He stared at the monitor, and what he saw sent a chill through him. "Mokuba…"  
  
Yami quickly returned, followed by a group of doctors who all began clamouring round Mokuba's bed as the machine went flatline, the monotone piercing through the room. As the medics surrounded the bed, Jou get pulled Seto - unresisting, unblinking - out of the way. Seto didn't see the medics, or feel Jou. He was only conscious of one thing - his brother lying in that bed, dying. He felt his world slowly cracking and falling apart, being scattered to the ends of the universe and locked away. He slowly sank to his knees, a feeling of nausea running through him as the horrible truth finally hit him.  
  
He'd lost Mokuba.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*sniffle* I'm so sorry people!!! 


	7. Pray your life was just a dream

Hey all! Wow... over 5 months since my last update... but One last Breath is now alive once more! *bounces* You have to remember, it'll be playing second fiddle to Forever Dreaming, since that is my major work right now... but I'll try to update here when I can!  
Thankyou everyone who reviewed and told me to get a move on! This chapter is for all of you, becuase I love you! *huggles all round*

*~*~*~*~*~*

He'd lost Mokuba.

The thought just kept replaying through Seto's head over and over again. His brother. His baby brother. Little Mokie. He was gone. Lying on that bed, surrounded by doctors, defeated by one of the few things Seto couldn't protect him against, his body being slowly destroyed even now.

He was gone.

Seto faintly felt someone tugging at his arm, but he paid it no heed. As far as he cared, he wasn't in his body any more; he was beside Mokuba's bed, softly shaking him, telling him to stop playing this game and wake up. After all, that's all this was, right? Just one of Mokuba's silly little pranks. Any second now, he'd sit up and laugh his head off, scaring the doctors half to death and making Seto run across and smack the stupid boy for frightening him so badly.

Any second.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Nurse! 20cc's of insulin!"

The addressed nurse nodded and scurried to the cupboard just outside the door, jabbing a syringe into the top of a particular bottle and filling it. In the mean time, the team leader was pumping on Mokuba's chest, cursing fluently between his teeth as he stared at the heart monitor, willing it to flicker just once. "Come on, beat, for fuck sake…"

Another doctor was stood by, warming up the electro-shock machine. They didn't want to use it unless they had to, but if they did, it would have to be ready there and then. Given the weakened state of Mokuba's body, using it could do more damage than good, so it was only to be a last resort. Tapping numbers into the keypad, the doctor set the machine to the highest power that he dared.

The nurse returned and handed the syringe to another doctor, who quickly and precisely jabbed it into Mokuba's chest, where the major damage seemed to be. If they could just get his heart going again, there was a small chance he'd be able to keep fighting.

The problem was getting it started.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Jou clutched at Seto tightly, afraid he might try to do something stupid. To run across and move the doctors out of the way so _he_ could try to help; to start screaming at them to do their jobs, distracting them; or run off somewhere. Jou knew from experience, if the worst really had happened, the last thing Seto would need was to be alone. Especially now that he'd crept out of his emotional shell. Seto had never had to deal with even the minor setbacks emotionally before – so now, when a big one threatened, he was totally unprepared. He would need everyone around him to help him through it.

Feeling Seto begin to strain at Jou's arms slightly, Jou gripped him tighter. This was hard for him too – harder than he could've possibly imagined. Mokuba had become a younger brother to him – and he an older brother to the young, raven-haired boy.

*~*~*Flashback*~*~*

"Seto… you and Jou… I just wanted to tell you…" Mokuba grimaced slightly, the effort of talking hurting him hugely. "I'm happy for you, niisamas…"

*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*

'Niisama…' The thought floated through Jou's mind like a feather in the breeze, drifting randomly, almost intangible, but definitely there. And like a feather to the air, the thought sliced through him, graceful in motion but devastating in effect. He could feel his defences beginning to weaken. Despite all he'd gone through when Serenity had died, Jou still couldn't handle this. It was like reliving it all over again.

Looking at the doctors surrounding Mokuba, Jou could almost see Serenity lying there instead. So cold, so broken, so lifeless, like a torn rag-doll… a rag-doll that could never be stitched back together. Pretty, broken, poisoned little rag-doll…

And now he could see Serenity move, see the little rag-doll sitting up, smiling at him. Suddenly, they were the only ones in the room, the room all that remained of the universe, and he took a step back.

_'Why do you fear me, Jou?'_

Jou's heart fluttered. Her lips hadn't moved; the smile hadn't wavered, and he'd still heard her speak. The eerie smile still steady, her voice came clear in his head, insistent and firm.

_'Why do you fear me Jou?'_  
"Sis… I…"  
_'This isn't real, you know. I'm not laying on that bed.'_

Jou's eyes widened. "But… Serenity…"

_'Jou, it isn't me that's suffering now. I'm fine. Look around you; open your eyes to everyone else's pain. They need you now, not me. You protected me as long as you could, but now it's time to move on. Don't forget me… but let me be free. Right now, Seto needs you most of all.'_

"Ser… renity?"

Jou suddenly became aware of a sound by his feet. Shaking his head and looking down, he saw Seto kneeling on the floor, his legs having given out from under him, sobbing like a broken man. Gasping softly, he knelt down beside his koi, pulling him against his chest, where Seto did nothing but cry quietly. "Come on," Jou whispered encouragingly. "It's not over yet… we've got to keep strong."

"Why?" came Seto's voice, a rasp of bitterness between the sobs. "What good will it do now? Mokuba's gone, what difference does being strong make right now?"

Before Jou could reply, one of the doctors came over, evidently in a hurry and with good reason. Barely leaving a break between words, he spoke rapidly but clearly, making sure every second counted. "We need to use the shock machine," he stated. "It could be the only way to bring Mokuba back."

Seto's voice came up from the floor, a growl evidently among the pain. "So do it then."

The doctor nodded, but continued by the book nevertheless. "We have to ask your permission, because the machine could harm Mokuba, given his weakened state right now, and-"

Before Seto could speak, Jou jumped up. Serenity was right; there was pain all around him, and all he'd been doing was thinking about his own problems. Now was the first chance to begin to turn it about. "WHAT DIFFERENCE WILL THAT MAKE?!" he screamed at the doctor, tears rolling down his cheeks as the combination of sadness, anger and grief began to overcome him. "LOOK AT HIM!" he yelled, pointing a finger at the bed, his whole arm quivering as he fought the urge to either collapse in tears or throttle the doctor who was wasting precious time. "HOW THE FUCK COULD IT GET ANY WORSE RIGHT NOW??? JUST USE THE MACHINE!"

The doctor took a pace back, totally stunned by this outburst, but nodded slowly. Even before he'd begun to turn, he yelled to his team to start preparing Mokuba for the treatment, rushing round to the opposite side of the bed and taking his position.

"Puppy…" came a voice from the floor. Jou looked down, and saw Seto looking up, tears in his eyes. "Thank you…" he choked out, slowly climbing to his feet. "I think we both needed that to be said…"

Jou simply nodded, helping Seto to his feet and hugging him closely. "Be strong?"

The nodded reply Jou felt against his shoulder was confirmation enough, and he tightened the hug, Seto flush against him now. A hand rested on his shoulder, and Jou glanced down the see Yugi looking up at him through teary amethyst orbs. "All of us, Jou. All of us, strong for Mokuba."

Swallowing a lump that suddenly came to his throat as tears refilled his eyes, Jou nodded. "Thanks Yug'" he choked out, before burying his face into Seto's neck. "We need yas…"

Yugi nodded in reply and turned to face the bed. 'Come on Mokuba' he silently willed. 'You can do this… just fight for the ones you love…'

By his side, Yugi's small hand fisted, the knuckles turning white as he silently egged Mokuba on towards survival. He'd done it for Yami once before; now he had to do it again.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Clear!"

Mokuba body lurched as the high voltage shock arced through him, jumping almost completely off the bed. As the boy dropped down limply, the heart machine flickered once, then died again. The standard result of a failed effort. Teeth gritted, the operator rubbed the pads together again, striking up the charge until the machine was ready. "Clear!" he cried, clamping the pads down onto Mokuba. Again, the boy's frail form jerked. Again, the machine flickered.

Again, it died.

As the operator prepared for a third charge, the head surgeon leaned over and performed the heart massage on Mokuba once more, pumping as hard as he dared. They couldn't justify using too many more shocks on the patient, and he knew that there wasn't anything else they could do after that.

"Clear!"

The doctor hurriedly jumped back as the boy was jolted once more, and glanced anxiously at the monitor. Again, nothing.

'Shit…'

Suddenly, with a hollow, rasping, painful gasp for breath, something he'd been deprived of for so long, Mokuba's eyes flashed open, and he arched up, racking coughs harshly escaping him as the breath was released. The monitor began to beep again – weakly, but it was an improvement all the same.

Mokuba was alive.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Whoo... apologies for the shortness, but nyah...  
Oh, and as a forewarning... although I now have an ending to aim for, I don't think it's going to be very good... if it does mess up, I apologise even now. I'll try to save it, but... nyah, better than not finishing at all, ne?  
Please review! ^_^ 


	8. Joy and regrets

Hey all! Gomen ne for the delay in updating, but I've been working my butt off all over the shop!

Reviews

To ObiWanGirl: You like this more than Forever Dreaming? Sugoi!!! *snigger* That's only coz it's got Seto x Jou tho, I bet!  
To 'Fi': Here ya go, less than 5 months! In fact, it's just about one month! ^_^' Terrible, I know, But I have so much stuff outside of fic writing to do... Hope you enjoy!  
To Blazing Kodachi: Well I had to pick on someone, and I think Mokuba's the only character I haven't picked on in any fics other than this...  
To One Winged Tenshi: Yeah, I know,m Bazu ish being horrible in this ficcu... and I don't get any nicer this time around either... but... it'll be okay... maybe...  
To 'KC': *giggles* Yeah, I'm sorry about that... it just kinda hit a slump, then a block, then a trap, then a pit, and got covered over... but ish slowly working now! ^_^''  
To Celeste Rose: Thanks for all that! ^_^ Much appreciated *bow* And dun worry, the URL is fixed!  
To Taddybear: NYU! Ryou's mine! *huggle Ryou with one arm and keeps rabid fans at bay with a cattle prod* Glad ya like it though!  
To spiderweb: Glad you like it! ^_^ And yeah, Malik was f00kin' stupid... but there's more on that this chapter... I feel sorry for him now...  
To Yuki KIKI: O.O Logged in??? *faints* Glad ya liked this and Man That You Fear though!

_Shameless Plug: I don't know if it's too late or not, but please go to Yuki KIKI's profile and find the link to Chibizoo's fanfic contest... Much voting to be done!!!_

To yugiyamifanadic: *squee* Glad you're glad! Here's more!  
To silver_fox20: *grins* Thanks! ^_^ Here's more for you!  
To Darkwolf193: Thank YOU for reviewing! And for kicking my butt so I updated! ^_^  
To Lone Wolf55: Here's the update!

There we go - here's the latest offering! Thanks to Koori-chan and Dutchess Murasaki for beta duties!

*~*~*~*~*~*

Mokuba was alive.

Seto couldn't believe it. As the boy's coughs echoed round the room, Seto felt something deep inside him rising up, an emotion he'd only felt once before that was ready to take control of him.

It was relief. Relief that someone he loved was okay. That he'd been spared the hand of death this time round. Seto gave a small, choked breath, and ran to Mokuba's bedside, tears shining in his eyes. "Mokuba…" he gasped, taking the young boy's hand in his own and smiling as a tear rolled down. He didn't dare hug him yet – the doctors were still performing some checks, and the boy would be so fragile… delicate… breakable after something like that. Not that anything less would be expected, of course. After all, dying wasn't something the little human body was made to go through again, since it had already gone through it once before restored.

"Hi big brother…" the raven-haired youth gasped weakly, a pained smile across his face. He tried to speak further, but all he could manage was to grimace weakly before he passed out again, panting softly as his body fought to catch up with the oxygen it had been deprived of.

"Mokuba…" Seto whispered again, a smile on his face as a tear trail made its way down one of his cheeks. He was alive. Weak, frail, and in great danger of receding again… but he'd made it that once. He'd come through, and – as the heart monitor confirmed – was beginning to recover. Seto felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see Jounouchi stood beside him, tears shining in his eyes too as he beamed at his love.

"Ah, jeez," Jou laughed, wiping the tears away with his forearm. "I never realized I was so close to the little guy," he said, chuckling and sniffling together. He really didn't know whether to laugh in relief, or cry because he was so glad to see Mokuba had come through, or what. Swallowing hard, he suddenly hugged Seto tightly, and the waterworks finally overcame him.

Seto smiled and fondly stroked Jou's hair as the sobbed against his shoulder, whispering encouragingly to him. "It's okay, puppy, he's alright now." Seto kissed the top of Jou's hair gently. "Come on, whatever happened to being strong?"

Under any other circumstances, Jou would probably have taken a playful swing at Seto, but right now it didn't matter. Everything was going to be al-

Jou's thoughts were cut off as the door to the room slammed opened, creating a mighty crash. Everyone, doctors included, jumped and spun round to see who or what it was.

Framed in light by the door, Malik stood panting, leaning against the wall as he caught his breath back. "Ryou," he gasped, his eyes frantically darting round the room. Heaving himself off the wall, he staggered into the room and grasped the closest person's shoulders firmly. "Yugi," he uttered, his voice pleading as he gently shook the petite teen. "Did Ryou come in here? Have you seen him?"

Confused amethyst orbs met Malik's own violet eyes, which were filled with worry and pain. "No…" Yugi replied truthfully. "What's wrong, Malik?"

"SHIT!" Malik yelled, before spinning round and trying to run out of the room. Unfortunately, his trainers skittered on the polished floor, and he lost his footing, crashing down on one knee before his momentum carried him to the ground, where he lay prostrate for a few seconds.

"Ryou…" he whispered again, his voice shaking slightly as one of his hands feebly curled into a fist. He squeezed his eyes shut as he allowed his forehead to rest against the cold tiles, a few tears dropping onto the hard surface. "Ryou…"

Yugi knelt beside Malik as the others looked on, bewilderment written across their faces. "Malik…?" he gently probed, lightly placing one hand on the shaking boy's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Yugi gently eased the boy to a sitting position, gathering him close to his chest, where Malik let out a small sob. "Ryou…"

Feeling a little awkward, Yugi rocked Malik gently, rubbing the boy's arm encouragingly. "What's wrong, Malik?" he enquired for the third time, whispering so as not to upset the boy.

Malik's hand grabbed lightly at Yugi's clothes and fisted, shaking. "Ryou," he choked out. "I… I've fucked it up… he heard…"

An uncomfortable atmosphere settled on those beyond Yugi and Malik. They all knew how much Ryou adored the Egyptian boy, and vice-versa, and had a horrible feeling that whatever had happened to make Ryou leave Malik like this, it was bad. They slowly glanced at one another hoping that someone could say something to sort it out.

"What did he hear Malik?" Again, Yugi's voice was soft, and he gently stroked Malik's hair. Somehow, he _knew_ what the answer was going to be. But he had to be sure before he could set about helping the two.

"M-… Me a-and Bakura… i-in th-the c-corridor…" Malik couldn't contain himself any longer as he saw Ryou's face flash into his mind, saw the pain in the boy's doe-brown eyes, the torment as his heart was torn apart. His defenses collapsed, and he burst into full tears on Yugi's shoulder. "Ryou saw us," he wailed, his whole body shaking as the full reality settled in. "He saw us kissing, a-and he's run off now, and I don't know where… and it's all my fault!"

The others had thought the awkward atmosphere before that revelation was bad. The stunned silence that enveloped them now was… it was beyond words.

Shock was beginning to settle in Yugi. "You and Bakura… _kissing_? But… don't you care for Ryou?" A weak nod. "_Then why were you kissing that baka_?!"

"How could I have been so stupid?" Malik sobbed, ignoring Yugi's angered question, the fist holding Yugi's shirt tightening even further. "I love Ryou; I didn't ever want to hurt him. I didn't _want_ to be with Bakura, but I still did it. I'm such a damn fucking idiot!"

"Shh," Yugi soothed, gently rubbing Malik's back as his anger passed quickly. He could see the boy was punishing himself enough as it was. "It's okay; it'll be okay."

"How can it be okay?" the blonde-haired boy wailed. "I've fucked it up; I've ruined it! Who knows where he is now? What he's doing?" Malik was genuinely afraid that Ryou might be hurting himself. He didn't dare to think how much emotional damage seeing that could have done to the gentle tenshi he'd fallen in love with.

*~*~*Flashback*~*~*

Ryou slipped across the bed and wrapped his arms delicately round Malik, his cherished. Resting his head on Malik's shoulder, he sighed contentedly. "I love you Malik," he whispered, planting a kiss on Malik's cheek and shuffling slightly closer. "I couldn't live without you… I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you." 

*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*

As the memory played over and over in Malik's head, he became more and more frantic. "I don't care if I get him back now," he sobbed. "I don't deserve him. But… what i-if he's…?"

*~*~*Flashback*~*~*

"I couldn't live without you… I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you." 

*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*

"Malik," Yugi whispered. "Ryou's stronger than you think. He'll be okay…"

*~*~*Flashback*~*~*

"I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you." 

*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*

Malik shook his head weakly. "You didn't see him Yugi… I hurt him. I hurt him badly. I…" The Egyptian trailed off again, bursting into fresh tears. "It destroyed him Yugi. I saw it. He…" Again, the question most prominent in Malik's mind thrust itself forward, and he buried his face against Yugi's shoulder as he sobbed. "Where is he?" he choked out, before the tears overcame him completely.

"Oh, Malik…" Yugi whispered, hugging the broken boy gently. "Ryou will be fine… he just needs some time to come to terms with it." Yugi meant what he was saying. He knew Ryou better than any of the others, perhaps even better than Bakura did, and knew they all underestimated his resilience. "You need to calm down and think a bit, that's all. Where might he have gone?"

Malik sniffed softly, trying to focus his thoughts. "H-he might have g-gone to Lover's L-leap…" he managed by way of suggestion. "He always liked t-to go there when he n-needed to think…"

Malik shut that line of thought off as another memory came back to haunt him.

*~*~*Flashback*~*~*

Ryou laughed happily as he grabbed both of Malik's hands, dancing in a circle round him and spinning the Egyptian boy round. Malik couldn't help laughing too, at his beloved's antics, and tugged both his arms in so that Ryou fell against his chest. Almost instantly, the white-haired boy had wrapped his arms round Malik's waist and was snuggling against his chest, gazing off into the distance.

Malik followed his koi's look, and smiled as he saw the landscape before him. Ryou had been right; there was something so tranquil about this place; something about Domino City and the neighbouring woods by twilight that was so pretty, so gentle… Malik lightly kissed Ryou's hair, resting his head against the smaller's, and observed the peaceful scene before them.

It was moments like this that Ryou loved. Just the two of them in each other's arms, silently expressing their love, letting their emotions surround them. "Malik," he murmured, lifting his head and staring into lilac eyes.

"Yes, Ryou?"

The addressed boy smiled. "I love you," he whispered, tipping his head back and softly kissing Malik, sighing gently as he felt the Egyptian respond.

*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*

Malik shook his head firmly. "I can't," he choked out. "I can't go there. It'll hurt too much, whether he's there or not…"

Yugi nodded and comforted Malik. "It's okay," he murmured. "Yami and I will go up. You just go home and wait, in case he comes back. You could do with a rest too."

Malik nodded. Had he have been thinking coherently, he might have reflected on how strange it felt to have the Pharaoh's hikari helping him out like this, despite everything he'd done in the past. But right now it barely even occurred to him. Instead, he resigned himself to his fate. "Okay," he murmured tearfully, lifting his head from the short boy's tear-dampened shoulder. "…thank you…"

Yugi nodded, smiling slightly. He stood up, half-pulling Malik with him, and quickly looked the boy over. "You be careful now, okay?"

Not waiting for an answer, Yugi turned to Seto and Jou. "Will you guys be okay here?" When they both nodded their agreement, Yugi grabbed Yami's hand. "Come on," he smiled up at his darker self. "Let's go."

With that, Malik, Yugi and Yami each made their way out of the room, Malik to be sent for a taxi home, and Yugi and Yami to make their way to Lover's Leap.

*~*~*~*~*~*

As the taxi pulled up at the end of their road – Malik never got out in front of his and Ryou's house, for some reason even he didn't understand – Malik handed over the money and hopped out, barely any life in his actions. He felt positively wretched. In fact, he couldn't recall having ever felt this bad. Sighing deeply, he began the walk to his front door, not wanting to get there but not having anywhere else to go.

"Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide  
I'll take it by your side."

Malik looked up in surprise as the words, being sung, floated to his ears. It was a song he recognised very well – his personal favourite, in fact.

What a time for someone to be singing it…

"Such imagination seems to help the feeling slide  
I'll take it by your side."

Carefully watching his paces, Malik began walking again, much more slowly than before. Somehow, he wasn't sure he wanted to find out where the song was coming from. The voice sounded a little hoarse; and the owner distressed. He wasn't sure he could face being around _anyone_ right now, least of all someone who'd upset him further… but he kept walking, never the less.

"Instant correlation sucks a breeds a pack of lies  
I'll take it by your side."

Malik bit his lip, tears stinging his eyes again. Oh, how well he recognised the song. Not only was it his favourite, but it had also been his and Ryou's 'special' song.

"Oversaturation curls the skin and tans the hide  
I'll take it by your side."

A shuddery breath. A step. Another breath. Another tentative step. For some strangle, bizarre reason he didn't want to leave presence of this voice. Somehow, each step that took him closer to the voice was more difficult than the last… yet felt more urgent too. Like he _needed_ to find out who was singing it. Maybe they could understand him, too.

The voice choked, the meaning behind the lyrics not lost to whoever was singing it, before continuing. It was one of those songs – the lyrics seemed like nonsense on the surface, but when you thought about them…

"I'm unclean, a libertine, and every time you vent your spleen I  
Seem to lose the power of speech  
You're slipping slowly from my reach, you…"

Malik swallowed another sob, forcing his step to become more determined. Mentally, he was singing along, but on the outside it was the most painful thing he'd experienced. Singing along was a lie; his way of telling himself he was enjoying it. Really, it hurt.

As much as he had Ryou?

"…Grow me like the evergreen,  
You've never seen the lonely me at all."

Malik bit his lip. The next few lines were the ones that Ryou always sang so well for him. Not only that, but they were the truth… and even more now than ever.

"I… Take the plan, spin it sideways…  
I… Fall."

Malik feebly sang the next words out loud, his voice soft, scared and quiet, suddenly feeling more isolated and alone than he ever had before… even when Marik had banished him to the Shadow Realm.

"Without you… I'm nothing."

A sob escaped the Egyptian. It was true… without Ryou, he was alone. He was empty.

He was _nothing_.

"Without you, I'm nothing…  
Take the plan, spin it sideways…"

_Spin it sideways_? Malik thought bitterly. _Break it in fucking two, more like…_ Stood with the garden hedge between his house and himself, he sank to his knees. He couldn't face it. So many happy memories; so many cosy nights; so many joyful laughs… that was what that house represented to him. It was his and Ryou's, together. He couldn't go in there now. Not like this. He couldn't contaminate all they'd shared in there.

"Without you… I'm nothing…"

A tear dropped from Malik's cheek, the boy's hands fisted as he drove them into the floor, leaning on them for support. "I blew it…" he choked out. "I hurt Ryou. I don't deserve him. I don't deserve anyone…"

"Without you I'm nothing at all…"

Malik stifled another harsh sob, a faint, high inward gasp escaping instead. "I don't deserve to live…"

The Egyptian boy lowered himself to the floor, not listening to see if whoever had been singing was still going on. Sobs shook him once again, and he curled up into a tight foetal position, wishing futilely that he'd never got with Ryou in the first place so that the poor boy wouldn't have had to go through that. "Ryou…" he choked out as he gasped at the same time, trying to get some air. " I'm so sorry… Where are you?"

Malik felt a hand shaking him, and one eye cracked open. Through the half-lidded, teary haze, he couldn't make out the person's face. All he saw was a mass of white hair and a pair of warm, brown eyes looking down at him.

"Malik?"


	9. Say it ain't so

Hey again everyone! Another update, another batch of angst... I quite enjoyed writing this chapter though. The angst itself is almost... fluffy...

Reviews

s.h.i.r.o.i.k.e.t.s.u.e.k.i: That song in the last chapter was 'Without You I'm Nothing' by Placebo. It definitely features among my all-time classics. If you download that one and like it, I can recommend a few more too!  
Bakura'sLittleDiscipleofEvil: I'm not sure how long is left of this story... given my current ideas, only a few chapters... But I might find my plot bunnies suddenly go hyperactive, in which case I'll carry this on as long as possible ^_^

Special thanks also to: yamiyugifanadic, ObiWanGirl, DarkWolf193, Sorceress MooNBlaDeR, One Winged Tenshi, spiderweb, Tabiku Tab Iakkin, Ril, blazing kodachi, Taddybear and trekkie-54! *snugs for all*

Now for the fic!

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ryou…Gods… I'm so sorry… Where are you?"

"Malik?"

The Egyptian boy's mouth dropped open in a silent gasp as the figure spoke. It couldn't be… it was impossible… things were never that easy…

"…R… Ryou?"

The figure nodded its confirmation, and Malik hurriedly began blinking his tears away. "Ryou!" he cried out, sitting up and throwing his arms round the boy's neck. "Oh, Ryou, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Malik felt yet more tears trying to fall, tears of relief, and squeezed his eyes tightly shut, pulling Ryou closer in the process. "I'm so sorry Ryou, I'm such an idiot… please, I'm so sorry…"

"_For what_?"

Malik gasped, hesitating before pulling back in shock. Ryou's voice had been so… cold. So bitter. It hardly sounded like him at all. He skittered back across the pavement, pressing his back against his garden wall below the hedge – only then realising that Ryou hadn't even returned the hug – and stared at him, hurt and confusion in his eyes. "W… What do you mean?"

"What are you really sorry for, Malik?" Again, his voice was harsh, almost as if he were trying to push Malik away with it. His voice betrayed how much he'd really been hurt, how deeply Malik had wounded him, and he was making no effort to hide it. Right now, Ryou wasn't only hurt and upset – he was angry too. "Are you sorry for doing it, or just sorry I found out?"

Malik felt a lump catch in his throat. Swallowing it away, he stared pleadingly into Ryou's eyes, practically begging him to believe what he was going to say. "Ryou… please, I–"

"How long?" Ryou cut him off, his voice even harder than it had been. "How long has it been going on for, Malik? How long were you going to carry on for?"

"Ryou–"

The frosty-haired boy stood up, his body tense and determined. "How far did you go, hmm? Was he worth it? _Was he worth breaking my heart over_?" Ryou's voice began to crack, and he turned away, not wanting to face Malik any more. "You're welcome to him."

With that, Ryou began striding back toward the house, not even looking back over his shoulder, leaving Malik sat in the dirt, his eyes wide in bewilderment and hurt. "Ryou…" he whispered softly.

Jumping to his feet, Malik rounded the hedge and ran up the path behind the other boy. "Ryou, wait!"

"Don't follow me!" came the terse reply.  
"Ryou, please! I'm sorry! Please just listen to me!"  
"I said don't!"  
"Ryou, please!" Malik begged, tears in his eyes as he pursued his love, determined not to let him go. Almost as if in reply, Ryou stopped where he was, his body shaking as he held his ground determinedly.

"Ryou…"

"Don't…" the boy whispered, his body beginning to shake even more as he fought it for control. "Don't follow me… If you do, I'll…"

Ryou sank to his knees, his shoulders quaking fiercely as a sob shuddered through him. "I won't be able to carry on this act…" he said, a little louder than a whisper, his voice barely audible, before a small choked cry came from him. Ryou brought his hands up to his face as he whimpered into them, and he slowly sank forward, crying softly. Almost instantly, Malik was by his side, his arms round his shoulders, and Ryou didn't resist as Malik pulled him close, the boy instinctively snuggling closer to Malik's chest, that place of security and warmth. He buried his face in Malik's clothes, his hands slipping down and drawing in close against his chest so he was almost curled up into a ball, and simply lay against him, crying his heart out.

"Oh, Ryou…" Malik whispered, gently rocking the boy back and forth much as Yugi had done to him. "I'm so sorry…" He lightly kissed the little tenshi on top of his head, letting his face rest in the boy's hair. "I am so, _so_ sorry…"

Malik felt Ryou shaking his head against his chest, and nodded his understanding. Saying sorry wouldn't make it all better. Saying sorry wouldn't make it all go away. Ryou still hurt, and there was a lot to still be done. Softly scooping the boy up in his arms, Malik carried him into the house, lightly kissing his neck and whispering soothingly in the hope that it would help him calm down.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Eventually, Ryou's tears had ceased. Malik had made a drink for him, and then gone upstairs to change. He didn't overly mind the fact that his clothes were dirty – certain other things were more important right now – but he'd needed to give Ryou time to compose himself, without making it obvious he was. So he'd simply made an excuse and – at a slight nod of acceptance from the other boy – had gone upstairs.

Now that he'd found Ryou, Malik had no idea what to say. He knew Ryou would ask why, and he had a fair idea of what else would be said. What he didn't know was how to respond to it. His mind was all over the place, and he couldn't focus. He couldn't make coherent thoughts, couldn't dress himself properly – it was all he could do just to keep himself from running downstairs, taking Ryou into his arms and just repeating over and over again how sorry he was.

Leaning against his door, he sighed heavily. "What the fuck am I doing?" he murmured to himself, his palms pressed to his forehead and his fingers buried in his hair. "Why did I do it? Why did I bring this situation up? Why didn't I just end it the first time I felt bad?"

A small voice in the back of his head answered for him. '_Because you're an idiot_' it replied. '_You're an idiot, you know you don't deserve Ryou, and you're just trying to prove it._'

Malik sighed heavily. That voice was right. After what he'd done, he didn't deserve Ryou. How did that quote go?

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back to you, then they are truly yours."

Malik nodded slowly to himself. That was what he had to do. He had to set Ryou free. And if the boy came back…

Malik sighed in defeat again. That wouldn't happen. After what he'd done, there was no way it could.

True love isn't always meant to be.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Ryou looked up from his swirling mug of hot chocolate as the living room door opened, Malik's head slowly poking round it. Malik's eyes saddened as he saw the boy – even with blotchy, tear-stained cheeks, puffy red eyes and the look of deep pain haunting him, Ryou was still truly beautiful, and it hurt Malik to admit to himself that he'd have to lose the boy. He really loved him, with all his heart, and now…

'That doesn't matter' Malik told himself glumly, his eyes dropping to the floor as Ryou's made contact with them. 'You had your chance. Let him be happy now.' Malik knew _no one_ could love Ryou as much as he did… but he was sure that lots of other people wouldn't hurt him like he did. That others would treasure him, and not treat him so badly. And that was fairer for the pretty young boy. Just to set him free.

"Ryou…" he began. "I–"

Ryou silenced him with a raised hand, and patted the seat next to him. "You can sit down…" he said quietly, still looking upset. "…if you want to…"

Malik swallowed, and nodded once before shuffling round the door and across to the space Ryou had indicated, gingerly setting himself down on the edge of the couch. He tried to encourage himself to speak, to get it over and done with, but Ryou's small act of kindness had thrown him. If the boy hadn't spoken, if he hadn't heard Ryou's beautiful voice, he could have _just_ kept his resolve. Now he had to find it again, and soon. If Ryou did anything much more, he was sure he'd lose his nerve altogether.

"Ryou–"

Again, a gently raised hand, palm facing forwards and all the fingers vertical beside each other, was enough to silence Malik. He was entirely under the boy's control. "Malik…" Ryou uttered, sighing softly. He took a couple of deep, calming breaths, trying to compose himself, and swallowed. "…" Again, he paused, taking time to think about what he was going to say, to balance it in his head, to calm himself down so he kept his mood level. "…Do you have any idea how much you hurt me…?"

Ryou didn't mean that to sound like he was trying to get at Malik, but he had to try to make the boy understand. Ryou had always been delicate at the best of times, and the one thing he'd come to trust in and depend upon most of all had gone and betrayed him. His one pillar of strength had crumbled.

After a pause, Malik nodded slowly. "I saw it…" he murmured. "When we made eye contact, I saw it."

Ryou gave no reply to indicate whether he accepted this or not, instead sitting in contemplative silence, his hands gently folded in his lap. His eyes flicked down, so he was looking at the floor, and he cautiously spoke again. "…why, Malik? Why didn't you just end it between us, instead of doing that?"

Malik bit his lip, his eyes closing as pain stabbed at his heart from Ryou's gentle words. "Because I didn't want to end it, Ryou. I still don't. I still lo–"

Again, a raised hand silenced him. "If you really felt like that about me," Ryou whispered, his voice beginning to thicken as he held back tears again. "Then why did you do it in the first place?"

"…I don't know…"

The two boys sat in silence, Ryou afraid to ask any further questions and Malik afraid to speak in case he damaged things further. The atmosphere thickened slowly, the air growing heavier and more depressing. A single tear rolled down Malik's cheek as he recalled that look on Ryou's face again and again, and he closed his eyes to the room around him. They had shared so many happy evenings in here… he didn't deserve to look at the things around him, to be reminded of their happier times.

A sudden whimper from Ryou broke the silence, and Malik opened his eyes to see the boy sobbing into his hands again, his body shaking slightly with each hitched breath. Acting on impulse, Malik shuffled sideways, lightly placing an arm round Ryou's shoulders, and was surprised when the boy leaned into his chest again, still seeking out that former haven. "Why, Malik?" he whimpered, his voice cracking and wobbling with each syllable. "Why did you do it?"

Malik desperately struggled to think of something to say to placate the boy. Like the truth.

"…because I loved you."

Ryou made no response to this, still sobbing into his former lover's arms, and Malik continued softly, gently rubbing the boy's shoulder soothingly. "I've never felt love before, Ryou… I wasn't used to feeling like that, and… I guess some part of me…" Malik bit his lip softly again, closing his eyes. "I guess it kind of scared me. Somehow, the only way I could deal with it was to taint it… like I am…"

Again, Ryou didn't offer a reply, but Malik did notice he buried a little deeper into his arms. "I'm so sorry Ryou," he whispered. "I don't deserve you now, I know that… but it doesn't change how I feel for you…"

This time, Ryou shook his head softly. "It's not that easy though…" he whispered. "You betrayed so much… I depended on you, and you betrayed me… you betrayed Serenity…"

Malik gasped a little at this. He hadn't even thought about that. Serenity, one of Ryou's closest friends, the one reason they had actually ended up together… he'd betrayed her memory too…

*~*~*Flashback*~*~*

Sighing in exasperation, Serenity gave Ryou a helpful shove into Malik, who caught him almost instinctively. Ryou hadn't been able to help himself, stood there with Malik's arms around him, and he slowly slid his arms round Malik, hugging him tight. Malik gently eased Ryou's head down till it was resting on Malik's shoulder, and he rested his own head against Ryou's silky-soft white tresses, sighing contentedly.

"Oh for pity's sake!" Serenity cried, even though the delight was already evident on her face. "Just kiss him! Do it for me!"

With that, Ryou lifted his head and gazed into Malik's eyes, a small smile playing about his lips. Closing his eyes, he slowly leaned forward till their lips met.

*~*~*End Flashback*~*~*

"Do it for me…" Malik whispered softly, repeating Serenity's words.

Ryou nodded against Malik's chest. He'd always had strong beliefs in respecting the deceased, in honouring their memory that they might live on… and it was like Malik had gone and slapped Serenity in the face. That hurt on top of everything else… that someone – his own boyfriend, of all people – should treat her like that.

"Gods, Ryou… I didn't think… I'm so sorry…" A tear squeezed from Malik's eye as he spoke, leaving a crystalline path down his cheek and splashing onto Ryou's head.

The snowy-haired boy slowly lifted his head, looking up at Malik. "You hurt me Malik," he admitted, whispering. "But despite that, I still love you. I always will…" He gently returned his head to that same warm spot again, this time his tears dampening Malik's clothes. Malik looked unsure, though. He was fairly sure he'd sensed some hesitation in Ryou's voice.

"…but?"

Ryou sighed, sniffling softly. "I don't know if I can trust you again…"


	10. Tranquility in chaos

Hey all! Apologies for the delay in updating, but... meh, whatever ;

Reviews

s.h.i.r.o.i.k.e.t.s.u.e.k.i - Sure Some more good ones are Pure Morning, You Don't Care About Us, My Sweet Prince, Days Before You Came, Special K, The Bitter End and Black-Eyed. To be fair, all their stuff's good, but those come to mind right now.  
SilverLily aka Blood Moon - well, what was happening was that Malik was officially with Ryou, but had an affair with Bakura. Ryou found out, and hence the waterworks snuggles poor bishie Me's sowwy for all this... I'll make it up personally...

_Special thanks also to:_ Ril, Darkwolf193, Tabiku Tab Iakkin, yamiyugifanadic, One Winged Tenshi, kate, Bi Panda hides, ObiWanGirl, BarbedWire23, yamimoukin and Fighter-Chick-Charsi.

Ficcu time!

* * *

_Ryou sank to his knees, his shoulders quaking fiercely as a sob shuddered through him. "I won't be able to carry on this act…" he said, a little louder than a whisper, his voice barely audible, before a small choked cry came from him. Ryou brought his hands up to his face as he whimpered into them, and he slowly sank forward, crying softly. Almost instantly, Malik was by his side, his arms round his shoulders, and Ryou didn't resist as Malik pulled him close, the boy instinctively snuggling closer to Malik's chest, that place of security and warmth. He buried his face in Malik's clothes, his hands slipping down and drawing in close against his chest so he was almost curled up into a ball, and simply lay against him, crying his heart out._

"Oh, Ryou…" Malik whispered, gently rocking the boy back and forth much as Yugi had done to him. "I'm so sorry…" He lightly kissed the little tenshi on top of his head, letting his face rest in the boy's hair. "I am so, so sorry…" 

Malik felt Ryou shaking his head against his chest, and nodded his understanding. Saying sorry wouldn't make it all better. Saying sorry wouldn't make it all go away. Ryou still hurt, and there was a lot to still be done. Softly scooping the boy up in his arms, Malik carried him into the house, lightly kissing his neck and whispering soothingly in the hope that it would help him calm down.

* * *

A soft click sounded as Yugi's last quarter ran out, and the lenses on the binoculars snapped shut. Granting himself a small, satisfied smile, Yugi stepped down from the platform gracefully, earning an inquisitive look from Yami.

"…well?"

Yugi offered the former Pharaoh a smile, his eyes sparkling. "I was right."

Yami stared at his younger lover contemplatively, trying to work out exactly what was going through the boy's mind at that moment in time. Despite the fact that two of his closest friends had just seemingly had their relationship torn apart, he felt the need to smile. Yami – though he hadn't been as close to them as Yugi – was still concerned, and knew that Yugi should be too. Unless he knew something Yami didn't. "You were right about…?"

"I knew Ryou wouldn't come here," Yugi explained, gesturing around them to Lover's Leap, where they stood. "To anyone else, he's a deep and complicated boy… But even the deepest of us still like our creature comforts."

Yami waited for Yugi to continue, not quite following.

"He wouldn't have come here. He has memories here, yes, and he likes to use this place to escape…" Yugi turned away from Yami to gaze across Domino, nodding his understanding of exactly why Ryou would come here. It was so peaceful and serene, and the view was both breathtaking and inspiring, with the rolling meadow before them leading to Domino City itself, and the woods to one side stretching off into the distance. At sunset, the sun would come down right on the border of the two, on the horizon, casting a golden Autumnal hue across the treetops and a fiery blaze across the grey buildings of the city. "He would come here to escape… but that isn't what he wants right now. He feels alone. He'd go to the one place he felt the most comfortable and secure, like a child running to its mother's arms." Yugi turned back to Yami and smiled. "Ryou may be quiet, complex and secretive on the outside, but you just have to read between the lines. Ryou ran home."

Yami's contemplative gaze held Yugi a moment longer, unwavering. "You knew he would?" Yugi nodded the affirmative in reply, and Yami continued, "And you sent Malik there despite that?"

"I sent Malik there because of that."

Yami faltered, not understanding. "But… wouldn't they need time alone, to sort themselves out?"

"Most couples would, yes… those two…" Yugi gave a soft sigh. "For everything he says, Ryou is still not a strong person. He's been through too much too quickly, and in the end he could only deal with it by withdrawing. That's why he seems so distant – it's all he's ever known. Ryou is fragile, past the tough exterior. He needed Malik by him. Malik knew that too – that's why he was so frantic."

Recognition dawned on Yami, like Ra's light shining on his palace five thousand years earlier. "And in the same way, Malik needed to be by him too?"

Again, Yugi nodded. "Malik made a mistake. He knows it, and he wants to tell Ryou. If he didn't see Ryou, he'd have ended up blaming himself for hurting him. Possibly even believing he should punish himself too…" Yugi's eyes fell to the floor. "Malik thinks the world of Ryou. Ryou thinks the world of him. Together, they're an equal to anything… but alone, apart, they're like porcelain dolls." Yugi's voice dropped to barely above a whisper. "The slightest of jolts could shatter them."

Sensing his hikari's distress, Yami stepped forward and gathered Yugi protectively into his arms, pulling him to his chest and gently stroking the back of his head. For all the smiles earlier on, Yugi was still worried about Ryou and Malik. He'd been able to get the two of them back together again, but whether they'd actually stay together – in the relationship sense – was entirely up to them. If Ryou could forgive Malik, then maybe – just maybe – they'd both be okay. If Malik really had hurt Ryou so deeply that he couldn't bring himself to return to the Egyptian teen…

"Yami," Yugi whispered softly from the warmth of his partner's chest. "Do you think they'll be okay…?"

Yami stared over the top of Yugi's head as he contemplated his reply, his eyes taking in all of Domino City and soaking up the glorious panorama before the couple. Even though the sun was setting, he could still feel its warmth on the two of them, and the fields before him were much like he'd imagined the sunsets when he'd been Pharaoh were. A sheet of mellifluous warmth basked the countryside, the slight snatches of birdsong still being sung praising the sun-disc for the warmth it gave the world. Staring across those meadows at that moment, you could believe there was nothing wrong with the world. All was peaceful. All was gentle. It was nature at its most inviting, the very essence of the Mother Goddess Isis exposed for all to see. Before them, the world was kind. Truth lay personified at their feet, and Yami realised that he couldn't lie now, even to placate Yugi.v "I don't know, aibou…"

The former spirit of the puzzle gently kissed Yugi on top of his head, and the smaller looked up, tears shining in his eyes. He didn't know how to respond to that answer. The truth was what everyone wanted, ultimately… but right then, would a lie, a comforting word taken in light meaning, have been what it took to make him feel better?

Again, the former Pharaoh kissed the boy, this time on the forehead, before touching his forehead to Yugi's, so their third eyes, the inner mind's eyes, met. "Ask the world," he whispered softly. "Ask her from your heart, and she'll tell you."

The two boys gently sat down in the lush grass, Yugi resting against Yami's side, and the two stared silently across the pasture, each accompanied by his own thoughts and the warm of the other boy's body.

Slowly, after what seemed like an eternity, Yugi found an answer. Seeking with his heart, asking those that existed beyond nothing, he felt it deep down. "They will…" he whispered, his voice choked as the beautiful feeling of joyful revelation dawned on him. "They'll be okay… I know it…"

* * *

As the fiery sunset blazed across the city, Jounouchi stood slouched against a wall, peacefully gazing out of the hospital window. His boyfriend was asleep in the chair beside him, the worry he'd been through with Mokuba eventually exhausting him. A soft smile had alighted itself upon Jounouchi's face as he quietly observed the city, the sun bringing a new, almost ethereal touch to the simplest of objects as it highlighted them in a flaxen gold hue. Maybe it was because he'd just seen what could almost be considered a miracle – someone being brought back from the dead – but right now, he appreciated the view so much more. Today, there just seemed to be something special about it.

Jounouchi's attentive vigil was broken as he heard Seto sigh in his sleep, and he looked down upon his boyfriend's soft features. Asleep, you could hardly believe Seto was the same person. His hard-set jaw line loosened, and his usually steely eyes were much softer, as best you could tell. He just seemed so much more at ease – with himself and the world. Idly, Jounouchi wondered if Seto had ever been that way inclined while he was awake.

A stirring from the hospital bed caught Jounouchi's eye, and he quickly hurried over, ready to soothe Mokuba if he was having a bad dream. Instead, though, it seemed the boy had woken up again, his dark eyes peering out at the world from a still too-pale face. This time, though, his eyes didn't have that distant worry in them, or any fear. Mokuba, too, was calmed, at peace. Jou gave the raven-haired youth a smile as his vision finally came into focus.

"Hey little guy," he greeted softly, not wanting to disturb Seto. "How're you doing?"

Mokuba offered a smile to Jou. It was still a weak smile, but it was definitely less strenuous than it had been earlier. "Hey Jou…" he murmured, sighing heavily as he fought the enticing throes of sleep back. "Not bad, I guess," he offered in reply to Jounouchi's question. "Kind of sore though…"

The honey-eyed boy nodded understandingly. With a disease like that, he wasn't at all surprised. If he recalled correctly, Yami had been weak for three weeks after he'd recovered from it. [1] "Well don't go pushing yourself too hard, you hear me?" he scolded with a small laugh. "You're going to be waited on hand and foot for a little while, and you _will_ enjoy it, you got that?"

Mokuba gave a small chuckle in response to Jou's gentle joking. Pretending to sigh like someone forced into a job they didn't want, he replied, "Well… if I must…" before giggling again. The two boys smiled at each other again for a couple of seconds, before Mokuba broke the silence. "Hey Jou," he began enquiringly. "Is Seto awake? I need to tell you both something."

Jou went to reply, but was cut short by a soft moan from the chair as Seto stretched his limbs and rubbed his eyes, slowly coming back to the real world. "Puppy," the boy groaned, stretching his face and back, unaccustomed to such an uncomfortable sleeping position. "How long have I been asleep?"

Jou smiled and raised a finger to his lips, indicating to Mokuba that he shouldn't say anything. "About two hours, I think. How're you feeling?"

Seto gave a soft, tired sigh, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair and his forehead in his palm, burying his fingers in the front of his hair. "I'll feel a lot better when I know for sure that Mokuba's feeling okay…" The CEO gave another sigh. "I honestly thought I'd lost everything when that machine flat-lined… it was like my world had just stopped existing…"

Jou gave a small smile and a wink to Mokuba, before he responded. "I guess you'd give anything to know he was gonna be okay, huh?"

Seto nodded his agreement, closing his eyes slowly. "If someone came through that door with a proven cure, I'd sign my house and KaibaCorp over to him in an instant if he'd give it to Mokuba."

"That's okay big brother!" Mokuba called cheerfully from the bed. "I'll just settle for one of your Blue Eyes White Dragons!"

Seto sat bolt upright in the chair, staring at the bed. "Mokuba? You're awake?!"

A bright giggle answered his question sufficiently. "Yep! Love you too, big brother!" Jou couldn't help chuckling at the expression on Mokuba's face.

Seto sat in the chair, stunned. "You little…" As he stood up, Jou hurried over, standing in his way. "Now now," he warned, grinning and wagging a finger at his boyfriend. "Be gentle, he's only just woken up."

Seto dignified Jou's teasing with a half-hearted cold stare, before raising a hand to the blonde's face and gently but firmly pushing him to one side. Ignoring Jou's rather _un_dignified squawk of protest, Seto stood by his brother's bed, smiling gently as he brushed the boy's ebony bangs to one side. "How are you feeling, Mokuba?"

The boy offered his brother a smile. "Better, thanks," he murmured. "How about you?"

Seto returned the boy's affectionate smile. "Top of the world."

Mokuba gave Seto a small grin, sorely tempted to make some sort of joke in reference to the Duel Tower he'd once built for his Battle City tournament, but found himself unable to think of anything suitably witty. "Hey, Seto, Jou…" he called softly. "Listen, there's something I need to tell you…"

"What is it, lil' guy?"

* * *

_Mokuba closed his eyes and squeezed them slightly, forcing a tear back. Effort was written all over his face as he did it, and his eyes opened even more slowly this time. "Seto… you and Jou… I just wanted to tell you…" Mokuba grimaced slightly, the effort of talking hurting him hugely. "I'm happy for you, niisamas…"_

* * *

"What I told you earlier…" Mokuba murmured. "I wasn't just saying that. I meant it." He offered the two another, wider smile, and for the first time since he'd woken up a happy glint sparkled in his eyes. "I really am happy for you two. It just shocked me a bit, that's all. I didn't know what to do."

Jou and Seto both smiled. "Really, Mokuba?" Seto asked, his eyes reflecting that same happiness as his brother's.

Mokuba nodded. "Yeah. Really, big brother. Just warn me next time, okay?"

All three boys laughed at this. "I think you'd be better off just taking it as a default, Mokuba," Jou grinned, slipping his arms round Seto's waist. "We're kind of… attached to each other."

Jou leaned forward to kiss Seto, but was cut off by a small yell from Mokuba. "No!" he cried, covering his eyes with his arm. "I've only just woken up, I don't wanna be made sick with all that mushy stuff!"

Again, all three boys laughed, glad that the atmosphere in the room was relaxed again. "Alright Mokuba," Seto smiled, brushing Jou's arms off him gently. "We'll go outside whenever we want to do that. You just get some rest now, you hear?"

Smiling, Mokuba nodded and snuggled down into his sheets, suddenly looking drained again. "Goodnight, niisamas…"

"Goodnight, Mokuba."

* * *

[1] This is a direct reference to my one-shot 'Bright Eyes.' Go have a read some time if you haven't already 

* * *

Pwease review? Sankyuu! 


	11. Heaven and Hell

Hey all! Sorry for taking so long to update, but holidays and my account being blocked owing to people reporting my stories does that to you. So... well, here you go! Enjoy!

* * *

"Hey! Where'd ya get that from?"

Mokuba cackled at Jou's indignant protests. He'd been out of hospital for two weeks now, and was feeling well enough to play computer games with Jou again. Not well enough to go to school, he'd often remind Seto, but well enough to play. "Picked it up a few minutes ago!" he crowed delightedly. "Wanna see how it works?"

Jou growled, trying to manoeuvre his in-game vehicle to anywhere that Mokuba wasn't able to hit him. "Nah thanks, lil' guy," he replied through gritted teeth, his body swaying with the buttons he pressed as if it might magically grant him some extra leverage in the turn. "Wouldn't mind giving you a face full of this though!" Jou mentally cheered himself on as he sent three homing rockets Mokuba's way. With Mokuba that close to the edge, the rockets were sure to knock him off.

"Full of what?"

Jou didn't need to look at Mokuba to know the boy was smirking. Turning his vehicle so that the camera angle showed Mokuba in the distance, he gave a small cry of annoyance as he saw his homing rockets veer skywards. "What gives? They should've hit you!"

"Flares," came the simple reply, Mokuba lining his vehicle up to hit Jou with his secret weapon.

"So _that's_ what they're for," Jou mused out loud, readying his next attack in his mind. 'Easy enough. Just gotta get closer so that the flares won't be able to affect my weapons. Hit him with an iceball, then pummel him senseless while he's frozen...'

"Hey, Jou..."  
"What now?"  
"Surprise."

As Mokuba uttered that word, he finished the eight-button combination that allowed him to fire his vehicle's special weapon. A bright blue laser beam ripped through the air, striking Jou's vehicle head-on.

"Ah _crap!"_ Jou cried as he tried to get out of the way before any real damage could be taken.

"Too late!"

A loud explosion from the TV's speakers signalled Jou's defeat. "Ah man..." he whined, slumping back against the sofa. "How the hell did you do that?"

A cocky smirk surrounded by ebony hair appeared in Jou's line of sight. "Instruction booklet," Mokuba answered, holding up the pamphlet that came with the game. "Guess it helps to be able to read though, doesn't it?"

Jou's eyes narrowed in mock anger. "Why you little..." he growled, suddenly sitting forward and scooping Mokuba up in his arms. He clambered up to his feet, the smaller boy squealing in surprise, and fixed his younger brother – as he now thought of Mokuba – with a small glare. "_Nobody_ makes fun of me!"

As quickly as he'd scooped him up, Jou suddenly dropped Mokuba, swinging the boy onto the couch as he let go. With a faint 'oof!' Mokuba bounced onto the cushioned surface and lay there giggling. Out of the corner of his eye, the younger boy saw Jou readying for his now-legendary tickle attack, and held his arms out in defence. "Please, mercy!" he begged between laughs. "No more! I'm sorry!"

An evil grin appeared on Jou's face. "Too late now..." Jou was about to pounce, when suddenly a loud bellow from down the hall caught his attention.

_"Where the fuck is he?"_

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you–" A loud crash followed by a cry of pain ensued, and Jou visibly paled a shade. "Mokuba..." he murmured, "Get out of here. Now."

The boy began to protest, but at a glance from Jou – seeing the fear in the older boy's eye – he gave a small nod and scurried off. Not five seconds later, the other door to the room – the one leading into the hallway – burst open, and a tall, heavily set man lurched in. He reeked of smoke, stale sweat and cheap beer, and looked as though he hadn't shaved for several days. His eyes were bloodshot, his fingernails yellowed with nicotine stains, and he staggered as he lurched across the room toward Jou, leering at him and revealing a mouth with at least three teeth missing. "There you are, you little fucker," he slurred, laughing to himself as if he'd just made an incredibly amusing joke. "Took me more than three months to find out where you pissed off to, but I finally got ya!"

Jou looked his dad up and down in disgust. "Geez old man, you're looking even worse than usual."

"You shut your fucking mouth, boy," came the slurred reply. "I don't wanna have to beat your head off the wall again, but I will if you don't come with me right now."

Jou took a step away from his dad, both fists balling up ready to defend himself. Giving his dad's current state, he doubted the man would even feel Jou hitting him, but maybe he could land a good hit on his jaw. That'd send the old drunkard keeling over in one. "Get outta here!" Jou yelled back. "I live here now, not with you! I don't wanna have anything more to do with you!"

"Little fucker," the older man slurred again. Evidently alcohol still made him just as aggressive as ever. "When I get you home, I'm gonna beat you black and blue."

A stern, condescending voice came from behind the man. "Don't you know there's laws against beating puppies?"

Jou's father turned to see who'd spoken, and laughed out loud as he saw the azure-eyed boy before him. "Well if it ain't Seto Fucking Kaiba!" he sneered, drawing himself up to his full height. "The papers have been full of news about your new mystery boyfriend. Come on, who's the dirty little bastard? How's he doing, huh? Can he still walk, or ain't ya big enough to fuck him properly yet?"

Seto's voice remained perfectly level, though inside he could feel his temper was rising. "Why don't you ask him? He's right behind you."

"Huh?" Jou's dad briefly looked confused at this statement, though the alcohol ruined any hope of him working it out for himself anyway. "There ain't no dirty faggots behind me, you fucking idiot. There's just my boy, and he ain't a poof."

"Wrong, Dad."

Jou's father snapped round and glared at his son. "You jus' keep your trap shut!" he yelled, inadvertently spraying some of his spit in Jou's face. "I'll tell you if you're a faggot or not, and you damn well ain't!"

"Wrong again, Dad."

"Shut up!!!" Jou's dad drew his fist back, ready to smash it straight into Jou's face. The next thing he knew, though, he was on the floor with pain tearing through his shoulder.

"So sorry," Seto sneered, holding onto the wrist of the injured arm, jerking it slightly so he could hear the man cry out in agony. "I guess I must have got carried away. Let me fix that for you." With that, Seto stamped the heel of his foot into the side of the man's upper arm, the force of the kick enough to pop the dislocated shoulder back into place. Roughly jerking the man up by his injured limb, Seto shoved him out into the hallway. "Get out!" he yelled, giving the man a kick as he tripped over his own feet. "Get up and get out of my house! You're not welcome here!" Seto yanked the man up again, twisting his arm – his good arm – behind his back and using it to steer him toward the door. A servant pulled the door open for him – somehow they _always_ managed to be there when you needed them – and Seto shoved him out, pausing to watch him roll down the steps leading up to his door. "If you trespass on my property again," he growled, glaring at the bully before him in disgust. "I'll have my guards shoot you on sight. Don't _ever_ come back." With that, the door slammed, leaving the old man with his face in the dirt.

Once inside, Seto slumped back against the door, breathing deeply to let his anger wash away. On first impressions, he'd disliked Jou's father. That had been when Mokuba had come running to him with teary eyes and told him someone had forced their way in. When he'd seen the man, he had almost instantly hated him. And things had just gone downhill from there.

"Seto?" came Jou's soft voice. "You okay?"

The chestnut-haired teen opened one eye and grinned. "I'm fine," was his simple answer. Self-defence classes had ensured that. "Better than he is, at any rate."

Jou nodded slowly, still looking a little pale from the shock of his father turning up. "I'm... sorry about him... he's always been like that."

Seto opened his other eye, looking a little surprised. "_Always_ always?" At Jou's nodded response, Seto shook his head his head and muttered to himself under his breath. "No wonder you tried to kill yourself..."

* * *

Spitting into the street, Jou's dad swayed as he made his way along the pavement, trying to make his vision focus without having to stand still. As he lost his balance _again_ and staggered into a bush, he hissed as the alcohol-muted throb in his shoulder flared up. "Fucking bastard faggot," he growled, lurching back to a near-vertical form. "Fucking make my son think he's gay and throw me out your house, huh?" He took a long draw from the bottle he clutched in his good hand, almost toppling over backward as he threw his head back to drink. "Ahhh..." he sighed, almost smiling as he felt the alcoholic drink slip into his system. "Try to break my fucking arm, huh? Just take me on your own, see how fucking tough you are then."

Jou's dad continued to mutter under his breath as he tottered along, his foul mood bubbling underneath his slurred words. While his rambling was supposed to make him feel better, all it did was serve to remind him over and over of how he'd been so easily ejected from Kaiba's residence, and made his temper boil further. How dare that little fag humiliate him in front of his own son?

Pausing at the end of a stride to let his body regain some sort of balance, Jou's dad stood swaying in the middle of the pavement, his torso rocking back and forth slowly as it struggled to maintain some sort of dignified shape. Bringing his bottle to his lips, throwing his head back, he took another deep draught of the foul-smelling liquid.

Slowly, it dawned on him that he was no longer quite vertical. He hadn't been aware of a falling sensation, but now he was somehow sitting in the middle of the path, staring groggily at his own legs as he tried to let his mind catch up with him.

"Hey mister, are you okay?"

Looking up, Jou's dad saw two – or possibly four, he couldn't quite tell – white-haired figures stood before him, one or two of them with very pale skin and the others with heavily tanned skin. "Fuck off," he snapped, slurring so that 'fuck' sounded more like 'fuhh.' "I bet you're all dirty little faggots too, ain'tcha?"

Ryou slowly withdrew his proffered hand, standing up again and shying a little closer to Malik. "S-sorry," he began, sounding somewhat put out. "I just thought-"

"Fuck off," Jou's dad slurred again, sneering at the two boys – or was it four...? "Your type are all fucked up."

Malik narrowed his eyes at this lout, whoever he was. If Ryou hadn't been present, he'd have given the arsehole a good kicking, drunk or not. "Come on Ryou," he murmured, lightly taking the boy's elbow with his hand. "Let's go."

It was the first time Ryou had gone back out with Malik since the incident those two weeks ago. Malik knew Ryou was still upset about it, and was being very cautious. Malik, on the other hand, was delighted that he'd been given a second chance, and intended to treat Ryou exactly as he deserved to be. All the light, gentle touches – like the hand on the arm – revealed underlying affection, a sign of real love. The small things were what made it good, and he could tell Ryou appreciated these soft signs. The boy gave a gentle nod, following Malik down the street.

Jou's dad stared after them, his head swaying slightly as he watched them leave. Were... were they holding hands now? "Hey!" he called, lurching to his feet in a very ungraceful motion and staggering two steps sideways. "Hey, you two really are fucking faggots, ain'tcha! Get 'ere, you dirty little bastards!" He began to slowly stagger down the road after them, his balance shot now that he'd sat down for so long. "You both get 'ere, I'll teach you what people should do to faggots!"

Ryou cringed slightly at the drunk's words, and Malik slipped a hand round his shoulders, rubbing his arm soothingly. Inside, he was absolutely seething, and if he'd been alone there'd be half a chance the drunk would be put in a coma by now, though admittedly he didn't suppose he'd be quite so upset if the words didn't hurt Ryou like they did. "Come on," Malik whispered, giving Ryou a gentle squeeze. "Let's cross over. The state he's in, he'll probably fall over at the kerb and pass out."

Ryou nodded in reply, giving no small sigh of relief, and allowed Malik to lead him across the street, his arms curling against his chest slightly as he leaned a little closer. He was beginning to remember one of the many reasons he loved Malik so much – the fact that the boy, with the exception of the thing with Bakura, had always put him first and looked after him. Malik had always gone against what he'd wanted to do, instead doing as he thought Ryou would wish.

As they reached the other side of the road, Ryou glanced back over his shoulder. "Malik," he whimpered. "He's still following us."

Malik turned, and mentally cursed as he saw the drunk beginning to stagger across the road. "Come on, let's just keep moving," he whispered, beginning to lead Ryou away again. A loud honk of a lorry's horn, however, made him glance back once more, and his eyes opened wide with horror as he saw a big, black articulated truck roaring down the road, the screech of brakes accompanying it serving no warning to the drunk, who barely seemed to have noticed.

Malik quickly turned away, covering Ryou's ears and turning his head to face the wall beside them, positioning himself between Ryou and the drunk. Not half a second later, there came a sickening, flat thud as the truck collided with the man who'd been following them, and Malik heard several cracks as the man hit the ground, momentarily making him feel nauseous. After a few seconds, he glanced over his shoulder to the point where the man had landed, the truck having stopped mere inches short of rolling right over him, and felt his stomach muscles clench again. The man's face looked like it had been caved in by the metal grille on the front of the truck, and at least two of his limbs looked to be broken in several places. Blood was seeping out from countless areas, already beginning to pool in the road, and his clothes were ripped and torn. There came a soft clinking at Malik's feet, and Malik saw the man's bottle roll to a stop, the neck pointing at Malik almost accusingly as the fluid inside it poured out.

Malik kept Ryou's head turned away, ignoring the boy's protests – he'd explain himself later – and watched as the truck driver leapt down from the cab and hurried over to the body. Barely needing a glance, he turned away with a look of pained disgust on his face and spotted Malik. "Call an ambulance!" he yelled to him, though the tone of his voice said enough. There was no urgency to it; instead it was merely following routine. He knew exactly what Malik had suspected as soon as he saw the man lying disfigured in the road.

Numbly nodding and reaching into Ryou's pocket for his cell phone, Malik barely breathed one word before dialling the number.  
"Fuck..."


	12. Upon Reflection

I wish to say this in advance now... I am _so_ sorry for the awful ending below. I spent five months trying to come up with something, and it wouldn't happen. I figured I'd best tie it off now, before it just died altogether.  
**_So_** sorry...

* * *

The man at the front stood shuffling awkwardly behind the stand on which his notes rested, before clearing his throat to speak. "Well, I'm sure we all know why we're here today. We, friends and family, have gathered to mark the passing of the late Jounouchi-san." (1)

The reader gazed down at his notes again, reminding himself of what he was going to say, and Seto couldn't help shaking his head softly. The poor man didn't have an easy job right now - you're supposed to say nice things at funerals. How could you say something nice about someone like Jou's father?

Again, the man at the front cleared his throat. "We should take this opportunity not to mourn the passing of Jounouchi-san, but instead to remember and celebrate his life - a life that certainly was by no means easy, but plentiful none the less."

'Ah. The tactful sidestep' Seto cynically noted. 'Can't say something nice, so make excuses instead.'

Seto glanced across to his boyfriend, sat next to him in the seat closest to the aisle and at the very front. There was a faint hint of tears in his eyes, and he was swallowing thickly quite frequently, obviously not finding this at all easy. Maybe he was being reminded of Serenity...

"First of all," the speaker continued. "Let us remember the finer moments of Jounouchi-san's life. Moments such as the day of his wedding, when he married the woman he declared to be the most beautiful on earth. An occasion of much rejoicing for almost all of us present..." At this, he smiled softly at Jou, before continuing. "It was unfortunate that this marriage did not last, for he had never been happier than when he and his wife were together. Never, except - as he frequently told anyone who'd listen - when his two beautiful children, Katsuya and Serenity, who has sadly also passed on, were born. These two wonderful children were the proudest of his memories, and the crowning achievements of his life. Although in later years he fell upon hard times, he would often confide in friends that he loved those two more than anything else, even if he never showed it. While some would say he wasn't a great role model..." The speaker trailed off, before resuming with a deep sincerity in his voice. "Deep in his heart, he was a wonderful father."

Seto heard a choked sob from beside him, and turned to see Jou shaking softly, hiding his face in his hands as he cried. Right there and then, the poor boy looked weaker and more frail than Seto had ever seen him; so lost and alone. With a gentle sigh, Seto leaned across and pulled Jou into a hug, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and cradling his head gently against his shoulder, nodding to the speaker to continue. "It's okay puppy," he whispered gently. "Just let it all go..."

* * *

Once the reading was finished, the guests were invited to come to the coffin to say their final goodbyes and make their peace before Jou's father was cremated. One by one they all walked up, distant friends, close friends, drinking buddies, aunts, uncles and others, quietly placing a hand on the coffin, whispering a few words, before shuffling away, sniffling gently. The only ones that didn't go up were Jou's friends, who had never really known him - Yugi, Yami, Ryou, Malik and Anzu, Bakura having opted not to go in case it caused even more awkwardness. Instead, these five - who had come to offer support to Jou - waited for the others to pass before moving forward to sit around Jounouchi.

"...Jou?" Yugi asked, tentatively placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "How're you feeling?"

Jou turned to face the smaller boy, his eyes vacant for a moment before clearing and focussing on him. "I guess I've been better," he replied with a weak laugh, wiping at his eyes as the tears threatened to return. "Not really the nicest day out, is it?"

Yugi smiled softly and nodded, knowing Jou was trying to make light of it as his way of dealing with it. It was just easier that way - to try to pretend that nothing was really wrong. "It was a nice service, wasn't it?"

This time, it was Jou's turn to smile. "Yeah... I heard a lot of things about him I'd never known before... kinda puts him in a whole new light, you know?" Jou's gaze lowered as he reflected for a moment, his smile becoming almost wistful. "I guess I can see it when I look back, though it might just be wishful thinking..."

Wiping at his eyes once more, Jou stood up, the others following suit. "Guess I'll go say my piece now," he said, excusing himself from the little group, the intonation of his voice making it sound almost as if it was just an irritating little job that had to be done - again, his way of dealing with it; of distancing himself from it. As the others parted for him, he began the hard walk to the coffin.

Jou's thoughts fell completely silent as he stood by the oak casket, gazing up and down it in muted surprise. He'd always thought of his father as being such a big man; a huge, strong man, who could easily overpower him at any time he wished. Now, though, he could barely believe it was the right coffin. It seemed so small, compared to what he'd expected. He almost didn't dare touch it, as if afraid he might damage it, or that something might leap at him. Mentally reprimanding himself, he shakily placed a hand on the cold wooden surface, shivering through his whole body. "Hey old man," he murmured. "I guess I got a bit of explaining to do, huh? About me and Seto, and why I ran away... Ah, who am I kidding? You were never stupid, you've probably figured it all out by now, up there..." Jou realised that he was rambling, and corrected himself by pausing for a breath, exhaling deeply and lowering his head as he continued, mumbling toward the floor. "I guess... what I wanna say is that... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I turned out to be such a disappointment for ya, and I'm sorry I misunderstood ya so badly. I guess things coulda been better between us, but... you're still my father. And I'll never be ashamed to call myself a Jounouchi."

Jou stopped, wishing he could think of more to say, so that he need never actually say goodbye properly, but realised it was but vain hope. He'd have to let go some time, so it may as well have been now. "See ya round," he murmured, before turning away from the coffin slowly to head back to his friends, trailing his hand across the smooth wooden surface as he left.

Stood by his little group once more, he offered a wan smile. "Guess I should go face the relatives now, huh?" he asked lightly, referring to the certainty that everyone would want to tell him what a wonderful man his father was, and what a beautiful boy he'd grown up to be, and how his father must have been so proud. "May as well get it over and done with."

As one, the others nodded, turning to the small side door to file out, thanking the reader for the service as they left. Before long, only Jou and Seto stood in the hall, the silence around them hanging like a thick shroud. "Ya coming?" Jou asked quietly.

Seto gave a small nod. "In a minute. You go wait outside, puppy," he whispered softly.

Jou nodded softly, knowing that Seto wanted his own quiet time with his father. Tiptoeing up to give him a quick kiss, Jounouchi turned and headed to the door, stopping to talk to his father's friend on the way.

Once he was sure he'd be granted the privacy he needed, Seto walked slowly across to the coffin, his footsteps echoing in the otherwise silent room like he was walking through a deserted cavern, the soft 'clump' of his boots against the wooden floor magnified beyond what he'd believed to be possible even after the many silent nights in the KaibaCorp headquarters. Once by the elevated platform, he spoke quietly, his voice almost harsh but still respectful. "I guess we got off on the wrong foot," he murmured, his eyes half-narrowed. "But I prefer to keep my first impressions. I can't say that I'll miss you, but you did a good job with your boy, even if it was the wrong way." Seto nearly placed a hand on the coffin too, but realised such a formal gesture would be inappropriate. "Don't you go worrying about a thing now. I'll look after him."

Not even bothering to say goodbye, Seto turned and stalked away from the coffin abruptly, headed for the side-door so that he would be out with Jou and his friends once more.

* * *

Later on, after the wake - quite a quiet affair - had ended, Jou sat in the Kaiba mansion, slumped against the back of the couch. With a heavy sigh, he allowed his head to drop onto the back cushions, staring vacantly up at the ceiling, looking physically drained.

"Something wrong, puppy?"

Jou slowly let his head drop to one side so that he was facing his boyfriend before slowly raising both his eyebrows. "Is something wrong?" Jou repeated, sounding like he might be amused if he wasn't so otherwise distracted.

"Aside from the obvious," Seto clarified, striding softly into the room, his feet sinking into the plush carpet. He stopped beside Jou, eyeing him up and down for a moment before sitting next to him. "You seem worse now than when we were at the funeral."

With a sigh, Jou turned to face the ceiling once more, his gaze listless and almost vacant. "Yeah..." he replied vaguely, not bothering with blinking.

"...anything you need to get off your chest?" Seto enquired gently.

"...nah..." Jou replied after a slight hesitation, shaking his head. "I was just thinking, that's all..."

Seto smirked softly, lightly prodding Jou in the ribs. "I've warned you about that before puppy. It's not good for you."

"Hey!" Jou retorted huffily. "Just what d'ya mean by that?"

Seto didn't reply, but instead his face fell almost solemn with just a faint hint of a smile in his eyes as he gazed at Jou. "What's wrong, puppy?"

Jou let out another sigh, listlessly casting his arms up into the air in a 'whatever' gesture. "I dunno," he replied vaguely again. "I was just thinking, wondering how this might be different." Jou turned to face Seto, his eyes softened as though he'd been hurt. "I mean, if I still lived there, he'd still be alive now, ya know?"

Seto gave an audible groan at this. "Don't," he stated simply. "Don't start blaming yourself, else you'll never get over it. You weren't happy living there. He pushed you out. That sort of thing happens. You didn't have the slightest clue it'd end up this way, did you?"

Jou shook his head softly, lowering his eyes. "But..."

"Listen, puppy," Seto interrupted. "If you want to blame yourself for his death, blame yourself for everyone else's too. He'd never have let you leave, and you'd never be happy staying there. You moving out was for the best. You were happier, Mokuba was happier... I'm a lot happier..."

Jou stared sullenly down at the floor, his mind ticking over as if trying to find a reply that would contradict what Seto was saying. "...yeah, I guess you're right," he finally - albeit reluctantly - admitted, closing his eyes. "I guess I'm just feeling guilty, you know? I mean, I wish I could've been there at the end, to say goodbye properly, so I could have a last chance at making friends with him, or to apologise to him."

A slight smirk tugged at the corners of Seto's mouth, unseen to Jou. "I shouldn't worry about that, puppy. So I hear, his last words weren't exactly inspiring anyway."

Jou suddenly lifted his head up, staring seriously at Seto. "You know what his last words were?!"

Seto forcibly kept his smirk under control, levelling his voice out. "Well, I'm only making a guess here, mind... but his last words were probably 'Ouch.'"

A stunned silence fell between the two boys, Jou staring wide-eyed at Seto in disbelief. Slowly, a grin spread across Seto's face, and before long Jou felt himself starting to grin too. "Bastard," he whispered with a slight chuckle, shaking his head slowly as the grin grew wider. "You total... utter... bastard..."

With that, Jou reached down, grabbing for a cushion beside him and swinging at Seto's head as hard as he could. The brunette was ready though, and simply leaned back slightly, watching the cushion sail past his face, throwing Jou's balance off momentarily. "You'll have to do better than that, puppy," he taunted, reaching for a cushion of his own and beating Jou across the back of the head with it. The blonde gave an indignant squawk of protest, and before long all-out battle was raging.

* * *

That night, Seto lay gently cradling Jou in his arms, the boy's flaxen hair fanned across his bare chest. A slight chink in the curtains allowed what little moonlight was showing to dimly illuminate the room, just enough for him to see that Jou wasn't asleep. For a little while he did nothing, instead just resting and watching Jou's eyes, trying to read into them, to see what Jou was thinking. As much as he tried, though, he couldn't get in - there was too much to read at once, optimism and confusion and hurting and happiness all at the same time.

"Puppy?"

Slowly, tiredly, the boy tilted his head up til he was facing Seto, his cheek brushing softly against Seto's skin. "Hmm?"

Seto gazed steadily at Jou for a couple of seconds, as if weighing up his question in his mind. "Do you regret any of this?"

Jou blinked sleepily at Seto, his eyes slightly hazy as he ran the question through his head again two, three times. Eventually, he gave up trying to understand it, and settled for tilting his head slightly in question. "What do ya mean, do I regret it?"

"This," Seto repeated, gesturing vaguely with one arm. "Us. Everything that's happened. Would you change it?"

Jou gave a soft groan against Seto's chest, letting his face flump against the taller boy's skin. He was too tired to think about things like that right now. After a few moments had passed, though, he felt Seto's expectations of an answer beginning to weigh down on him, and gave another groan as he finally conceded that he'd have to answer if he wanted it to stop bugging him. "I dunno," he murmured, waving with one hand vaguely. "For ages, I woulda given anything to have Serenity back. There's still a part of me that wishes it hadn't happened." Jou sighed heavily as the idea of Serenity smiling again returned to his mind's eye for a brief moment. "But..."

Seto paused for a moment, waiting for Jou to continue, before gently pressing him. "But...?"

"I dunno..." Jou admitted again. "I mean, if Serenity hadn't..." Jou's voice fell for a moment. "If she hadn't died..." The boy swallowed thickly, composing himself before continuing. "Then we wouldn't have gotten together. As much as I love her, I love you too... I couldn't choose between you."

Seto nodded silently, before his voice resonated softly once again. "Would you change it, to have her back?"

After a moment's thought, Jou shook his head. "She wouldn't allow it," he stated. "If she knew what had become of her death, she'd be so happy for me. She wouldn't want me to give you up for anything. We always had that kind of relationship."

Again, Seto gave a nod, and fell silent as if satisfied by this answer. Truth be told, there were a hundred other questions he wanted to ask... but then, he supposed they had thousands of nights to share yet.

"That's it?"

Seto raised his eyebrows slightly at Jou's question. "Hmm?"

Jou propped himself up on one elbow, apparently a little more awake now. "That's it?" The boy gave a soft laugh. "You're not gonna regale me with some deep and meaningful insight, or the 'moral of the story' or nothin'?"

Giving Jou a sideways glance, Seto reached out and swiped the boy's elbow out from under him, causing him to drop heavily onto the mattress with a surprised squawk. "Nope," came the simple reply. "I'm done now."

"Well what about you?"

This time, it was Seto's turn to give Jou a questioning look. "Hmm?"

"All that stuff with Mokuba running off and ending up in hospital." Jou persisted. "I mean, I saw how hard that hit ya. You must have gotten a few grey hairs over that!"

Seto refused to dignify this taunt with a response.

"What I mean is, that wouldn'ta happened if I hadn't been here. Do you regret that?"

Seto rolled over onto his side, so he was facing directly toward his boyfriend, and permitted himself a small smirk. "Jou..." he began, sounding confident of his words. "I really don't plan to worry about that. I'm sure you're going to be responsible for many more grey hairs yet."

"Me?" Jou questioned with a slight huff. "What do ya mean?"

Seto rolled his eyes as if it should be patently obvious. "Oh, come on, it's not that hard to figure out."

Jou simply blinked in reply, indicating that he honestly didn't know what his cobalt-eyed lover meant, and Seto continued with a mock heavy sigh, counting off on his fingers. "Firstly, there will be times we will fight over _something_, I'm sure..."

Jou gave a half-joking gasp at the thought. Him? Fight with Seto? Never! The thought alone was preposterous!

"So there's one grey hair. And then Mokuba will want that PlayStation 3 that will be coming out next month, and when I argue with him that the GameCube, PlayStations 1 and 2, Nintendo, Computer games and consoles that he already has are enough for one teenage boy, there's another grey hair. And God knows about the others that I will get with the idiots that work at Kaiba Corp!"

Jou nodded. "But, Seto dear, you can also buy the best grey hair remover on the market, ne?"

Seto nodded, rolling his eyes slightly, before smiling. "True... you two will surely be the death of me."

* * *

(1) For those who may not have known this, 'Katsuya' is actually Jou's first name. 'Jounouchi' is his family name - hence 'Jounouchi-san' refers to Jou's father (literally 'Mr Jounouchi')

* * *

End

* * *

...once again, _so_ sorry... Full credit awarded to Dutchess Murasaki, my beta, who at least salvaged a decent end of the chapter (trust me, you don't wanna know how mine went -.-;) after a little work, but... yeah. For a final chapter, that sucks.

Please be gentle?


End file.
